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Teen Poetry #8
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krazy 4 her
Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 38
Your parent's front porch

0 posted 2006-09-22 12:34 PM


I said:
Can't you see my honesty
Don't you know I care
I thought we were the best of friends
So how come you aren't here

She said:
Well I thought we were more than friends
And it had turned to love
But you seem oblivious
And I was really hurt

I said:
Are you serious
Do you really care for me that way
I guess it's time to tell you
How long I've waited for this day

She said:
So why aren't we together
Why pretend anymore
I can't see the point of it
What's this facade for

I said:
Let's ditch it

She said:
YES!


~~~Okay, me and Haley sat down and wrote this together. Because it was sorta a conversation we just had. Aaaand, now we're together. Btw, both Haley and Kiara will be getting on later today!!~~~

© Copyright 2006 Byron - All Rights Reserved
*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member
since 2006-09-03
Posts 33
north east of england
1 posted 2006-09-22 02:08 PM


well done i think this poem is really good even though its not exactly a poem if you know what i mean! but i think  its really good

keep up the good work
*wishfull*thinking*

previously know as poise and rationality and sins and tragdegies but long story

*coz i've seen lopve die way too many times when it deserved to be

wwzwlmd8
Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96
San Diego,CA
2 posted 2006-09-23 06:46 AM


That was ok i think it could of been better but over all it was good.
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
3 posted 2006-09-23 01:46 PM


I liked the concept. The rhyming was really forced though and I think that if you really want it to be a better poem you'd expand on it. I really like the way you used this concept though,and congrats :-)

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

buttercupbaby
Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400
outside in the rain
4 posted 2006-09-23 05:39 PM


way to go! im so happy for y'all=)

and btw, this is an awesome poem! great work you guys!=)

-much love-

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
5 posted 2006-09-24 01:06 AM


ohhhhhhhhhh i loved this it cool how you both wrote it too... and JEEZE it sure took you long enough to finally get together but you both have my wishes and i hope it works out for the best good poem you both...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2006-09-24 06:19 PM


Yay! Glad to hear you guys finally decided to get together.
Enjoyed the poem.

~Alli~

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