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Open Poetry #44
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Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England

0 posted 2009-01-28 11:48 AM


In a grotto of the farthest north
A roseate light glows
Flowering amidst desolate stone
A crystalline red rose

Begotten from a goddess' tears
Shed from high above
Within those perfect scarlet blooms
Lies the seed of all love

Holds every secret heartfelt wish
In it's pellucid gleam
Holds the truth and holds the light
And every romantics dream

The rose is cursed to bear the weight
Of every tragedy borne
Of every selfless sacrifice
Of every true love mourned

With every tear a lover weeps
A petal falls to the ground
To land upon unyielding earth
And smash without a sound

If we can never stem the tide
Of bitter tears we cry
If true love cannot triumph then
The rose will surely die

Far north of this grieving sphere
Petals fall like rain
Until at last in sympathy
The goddess weeps again

written for 'Crystal Rose' Shannon, my beloved.

[This message has been edited by Suncleaver (01-29-2009 03:32 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Luke Doubtfire - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2009-01-28 10:17 PM


Luke,

thank you. This means a lot to me, just now.




steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2009-01-29 01:16 AM


I love your ending...such a neat twist of the thought processes...yet so pleasant at the same time...nicely done

oh, btw...welcome to PiP...almost forgot

Anniepimm
Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550
England
3 posted 2009-01-29 08:40 AM


quote:
With every tear a lover weeps
A petal falls to the ground
To land upon unyielding earth
And smash without a sound


This stanza is very Beautiful thank you for shareing
Over all the poem is excellence in print,
Bravo

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2009-01-29 04:41 PM


This is so lovely... Welcome to Passions!
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
5 posted 2009-02-16 07:12 PM


Okay so after reading your comment on my poem I thought it would be only fair to give you one in return. But once I stumble onto the piece of magic you left me speechless.

I'm serious when I say you have a talent that gives me the urge to write.

Well what can I say? Some wait to be inspired. And I guess I'm just one of them. Thanks for being my Muse. lol.

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
6 posted 2009-02-16 08:17 PM


Cheers Zach. This was written for my beloved one and she loves the replies.

Bill Charles, Earth Angel and XxForever.BrokenxX inspire me to write better poetry, so into the fray I wade, thesaurus in hand. :p

Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told.

AAB
Member
since 2008-04-10
Posts 99
Canada
7 posted 2009-02-16 11:14 PM


Absolutly amazing. lets hope we can keep the goddess from weeping.

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while" The Princess Bride

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