there are many reasons why I don't wish to marry or date again...
one of them is fear
...so I'm not qualified to answer your question, except to say...perhaps you shouldn't worry about finding someone to love and love you in return, perhaps you should concentrate on your life, your goals, your dreams and fulfill them...in the meantime, growth might change your mind...
Again, I say, we are a society driven people who seem to urge our young people into believing if they are not married, they are not successful
That is so wrong, and we tend to make choices simply because we're seeking approval. Can't tell you how many people have told me in my lifetime, they married b/c their families expected them to, b/c they were dating for a while, etc.
Perhaps to, some professional counseling would help you find your way, a start to soul searching, understanding you were hurt, perhaps b/c of choices you made, choosing the wrong people, people who did not deserve you and took advantage of your trust and kind heart...remember, people are who they were raised to be...we parrot our parents and role models growing up...so, people cannot give, what they've never known...
In my case, I enjoy single life, making my own decissions, going when and where and what time I like...I was married when I was 17 and never had the luxury of being alone, I call it, my quality time
I think it best to say, learn first, why you gave your heart to these people who hurt you, and go from there? Who were they? Were they capable of caring for themselves, let alone you...did they respect themselves...were they good with who they were, or were they void of confidence, patience, understanding...Did you have anything in common? Did you share compatible morals, beliefs...? Did you share the same interests?
The best way to find answers is to delve into you and get to know you...then the answers will come...don't ever compromise your identity for anyone, and most of all, be honest with yourself, don't live in self persecution...or beat yourself up...there isn't anything you cannot do, if you put you mind to it...
[This message has been edited by LeeJ (07-17-2006 11:23 AM).]