I'm sorry for your present situation, and hope that I may be able to help shed some light on this issue...
I don't believe even in the darkest of nights, that it's God's fault for anything that man chooses to find...God puts us here on earth, gives us the blessing of life, and it's totally up to us to do with it what we like.
In other words, what I'm trying to explain is this...we (you and I) make the choices in our lives...which effect our lives in very big ways, both good and bad, and we learn from those choices. We are always and forever, no matter how old we grow, like children learning. Constantly growing, until the very day we die.
Now, if we're children, being abused by parents who are dysfunctional, then that to, is not caused by God, but caused by the adults who should take the loving responsiblity to take care of their children, and if they are not, then they should be reported so that perhaps they can be helped.
If it is a situation, where we've lost a loved one, I still believe, God does not take life, he grants us the blessings of life to do with it as we so choose, but death is part of life, either by an accident, or by natural causes...which is difficult for any human being to accept.
We as humans have this obsession, ( I think) with always wanting to blame something or someone for our pain, even ex lovers, husbands, friends...etc, when in fact, (depending on the issue) the pain is caused by our choices...as it is no one else's job to make us happy, save us from despair, self persecution, guilt.
My suggestion would be to firmly say, what and who do YOU Believe in? Its first gotta be yourself...if not, then I suggest you try and find out why? Through counseling, or discussing the issues with a person trained to help you along the way.
But basically, ask yourself what does the word Faith Mean?
The following are definitions....
belief or trust: belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof
I wouldn't put my faith in him to straighten things out.
2. religion or religious group: a system of religious belief, or the group of people who adhere to it
3. trust in God: belief in and devotion to God
Her faith is unwavering.
4. set of beliefs: a strongly held set of beliefs or principles
people of different political faiths
5. loyalty: allegiance or loyalty to somebody or something
My feelings on this subject are this....
If you don't believe in yourself, if you cannot be loyal to yourself and love yourself, then how can you have faith in someone else, or expect any relationship in your life to be accomplished and productive?
Again, so so many people today, believe, truly believe by walking into a love relationship, that the other person is going to free them from all they're pain...
The other person will not, cannot and unfortunately, the relationship will be contaminated from the very beginning. You, my dear friend, "are your own keeper" and you should never "expect" someone to speak for you, take care of you, bring you out of trouble, or gain a free ride the rest of your life from others...you are what you believe, and anyting in life you gain, must be worked for, sometimes...no, most of the time, worked for very very hard. Nothing is worth anything if you don't work for it, even personal growth.
No other person, not even God will bring your faith back..."you and you alone, must accomplish that" And that my friend, is one of the miracles of life...to learn to love yourself, not to the point of being narcissistic, arrogant or aloof, but loving yourself humble, being comfortable with who you are, knowing yourself, is one of the greatest accomplishments, knowing your own desires, your capablities, your needs, and your greatest purpose...when this happens, all else falls into place, you become confident and comfortable with who you are, your choices in friends will be realistic, and you will gravitate towards those who will also be a very significant part of your journey, instead of compromising your identity to have friends in your life...you don't need the approval of others to accomplish and be happy...what you need though, is faith in your heart in YOU.
I hope, after reading this, and the comments of others, you will gain some light on this issue.
Hugs & much love sent your way for many fulfilling and happy days ahead.