Saluting with misty eyes
rose- It certainly sounds as if your life is challenging at the moment.
There is a term that I like to use whenever I am starting to slow down, or things are getting rough. That term is: Kinetic Energy.
Kinetic Energy is the scientific principal that states any object in motion tends to continue in motion. Turning your life and your thoughts into a scientific principal, believe it or not, helps... Let me explain:
You talked about how everything was going against you and how everything was bad, and about how everyone had nothing but ill things to say about you, and were just being non-supportive (except for your mother-in-law who allows you to live in her house). Well, that is fairly negative thinking. And since thoughts are things, by putting those things into motion, they tend to continue in motion, using the principal of Kinetic Energy. Since you seem to be focused on them, they tend to continue to move forward, and gain more strength as they move.
To counteract that, begin thinking about the good things in your life...
1)You HAVE a place to live, regardless of the conditions. Many families do not.
2)YOU have your health, and so does Dave. Your family seems not to, and many others do not.
3) You seem to have yoyur mental faculties together, whereas your father-in-law seems not to... and neither do many others.
4)You said you had a few nice things. I certainly don't have anything even half nice. My couch was given to me by friend and it has mismatched cushions, I sleep on a single bed that is an old bunk bed that my kids used to use until they got new ones. My television is a 13 inch bedside thing that I put in the living room... You get the idea.
No, staying positive isn't easy. It is the absolute hardest thing you would ever have to do on a consistant basis. The human mind is designed to dwell and focus on the negative, and to see things through that light. By focusing on the positives in your life (the few that you do have) you will begin to see more of them, and by focusing on them, you will be able to see more, and so on, and so on, etc. Once the negative energy has begun to slow down and reverse itself, and the bright energy has begun to surface, things do get better, I promise.
As for crawling out of that hole... What about the State/County assistance office? It sounds like you would DEFINATELY qualify for housing assistance and such as that. There are places all over that are state subsidized housing where the rent is based off of your employment. I have a friend that lives in subsidized housing down the road here and they assistance office also helped her to get a car. It wasn't a new car, and- in fact- it is a pile of junk... however it runs fairly decently and it gets her to work. I'm sure your state would have similar programs. There are work programs for low income families upgrade their skills and help them find decent paying jobs.
Give the State a chance, and look them up. You never know what you might find.
Hope it helps
*Sending positive thoughtsand prayers*
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again...