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I need closure
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I need closure |
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Dark Kisses Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364Flat lands of Kansas 
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Back In November '03, my boyfriend (that lived with me) took off one night after I left the house. He packed his stuff and left. To this day, I have yet to see or hear from him. Most would think *Girl, you just got used!!* But the odd part is, he took nothing that I had bought him. He had a set of keys to my place and to my car. Instead of just locking them in the house, he took them to my Mom's. I loved this man so much it is unreal. The day he left we even talked about making things *Legal* (marriage.) The week he left, he put my address on his checking account. There is so much that happened that week, I cant even list them. I have so many unanswered questions. A broken heart that I doubt will ever mend. I am 33 years old and had finally found my first love. Everyone that seen us together would tell us how happy we were together. I am in a relationship now, but cant seem to put this past relationship behind me. Please give me advise on how to put some sort of closure to this painful past...... |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Dearest Dark Kisses, a man who cannot explain to your face why he is leaving, is the same type of man after marriage who will leave you with not just a broken heart, but, unpaid bills, a "for sale" sign on the house, and a child tugging at your skirt crying because "daddy didn't say good-bye." Believe me.....I know. Obviously he tried to soften the blow so to speak by talking of marriage with you right before he made his leave. Some people are just not good at handling difficult situations, or owning up to their short-comings. Leaving the keys with your mother is another red flag that he could not deal with confrontation. I would box up his things and take them to wherever you see fit. You say that you are in a new relationship, now go on with your life and quit worrying about the past. Life is far too short. Just keep the lines of communication open with this new man, and above all, listen to your inner voice - it never, ever lies. Good luck to you. Keep smilin'. hugs, Chris |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Chris knows what she's saying. She gave some sound advice.  |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Yes she did. Very sound advice.. Kissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
How very sad; but he already gave this relationship...closure. Perhaps some day he will be mature enough to talk to you, to explain. But it is time to go on, especially if you have found someone who gives you some sense of security along with happiness. |
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Dark Kisses Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364Flat lands of Kansas |
Okay let me add to this story...... During our relationship, we had both always told each other that we were best friends, lovers and soul mates all wrapped up in one. Ohhh how I loved this man. The night he left, I found out he went and got drunk, rolled his truck and got arrested for a DWI. Funny thing there is, when we were together, we stopped drinking altogether. Because we agreed that we were extremely happy without any sort of substance. Anyways, exactly one week after he left, I recieved paperwork in the mail for him from SRS child enforcement. (yes, I opened it) It was his ex-wife going after him for child support. (he went back to her when he left me... supposely) He always told me and our friends that his ex had something over his head concerning their kids together. Hmmm a little odd eh? He left me on November and in February his ex came to my work to ummm *kick my butt.* Of course I wasnt there at the time but she did talk to my Aunt. Nope, she never came back. Then in May his ex called me on the phone and asked if I was seeing him again. No matter how hard I try to let go, something is constantly bringing him back into my thoughts. I beleive everything happens for a reason. So why won't this just die and let me be? |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Letting go is NEVER easy... I lost a marriage of over 10 years that I was happy in, and apparently alone in that situation. It has taken me almost a year to get over it... Breaking up is not easy on the one who has it happen to them, and getting over it isn't easy, either...HOWEVER... You owe it to yourself and yuour new man to ddo whatever it takes to do so. What I had to do was.. well, some of the things (the others aren't for polite company) I did to assist me in my mending were: Writing poetry about how you feel Writing poetry about the hatred, anger, and love Write a letter to him explaining everythnig he has done to you Take all of his belongings and give them to the Salvation Army or another charity Get rid of ALL of the pictures of him Every morning when you get up, look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and tell you how much better off you are Eventually, you will start to believe all of that garbage you are telling yourself (No, it's not garbage, however you will feel that way at first) and you will be over him. I wish you love and happiness. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again... |
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