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Can you ever go back?
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Can you ever go back? |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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*Sigh* Sometimes I wish that the world would just stay the same. I entered college in the fall and just finished my first semester. I'm back home for a month for christmas vacation and everything seems changed. Granted, I did go home every weekend, but this seems different. My friends have changed, I no longer have a place at the daycare where I used to work...I even feel kind of alienated here simply because I've been gone so long. I guess I'm asking if there's a way to connect again? I know in my heart that things are never going to be exactly like they were (which is hard because I'm not fond of change, LOL), but I guess I'm wondering if anyone has some advice to help me to accept this or something I can do to ease the alienation?  *Krista Knutson* |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
This sometimes happens. I know when my friends moved away and when I got married things seemed different. I guess you grow and people move on in life. I think that the best thing I did was call up my old friends for a girls night out, it was a good thing too because we had a chance to talk about old times along with what was going on in our lives now. It helped us to deal with the change that went on and move to what we have now. We still get together ever now and again, it might not be like it use to be, and it never will be but they know I care and I know they care. I don't know if any of that made sense, but what I think might help is not being afraid of change but grow into the change. Call your friends ask them for dinner or something or even just phone them. They most likely feel the change as well and would love to get back in the groove of things. Hope all works out for you.  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I'm going to be going away to college in the fall, but I'm looking forward to getting as far away from this place as possible, actually. Each to his or her own! But it is my belief that, except in memories, that you can't go back. I think that you should try to get more involved in your univeristy. Join some clubs on campus, make all kinds of friends there, and begin to build a whole new life there. Remember, when you tire of that, you'll be able to start over yet again, when you graduate. BEst of luck! Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Miah- I do think that getting together with my friends will help somewhat. Thanks for that suggestion.  Erica- I'm extremely close to my family, so perhaps we have different motivations for how we feel. I have gotten involved on campus and that has helped somewhat. I think maybe a piece of me will simply always yearn for what was. I am getting better at embracing the future and new things, but I need a balance between my life at home and my life at college. I feel connected there, but I want to feel connected here as well. I don't think that I have to give up my old life completely. Thanks for your comments, I appreciate them. *Krista Knutson* |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling... I just recently posted a thread about feeling blue about changes around Christmas time. A LOT of it had to do with my Dad passing on, but another part had to do with my kids getting older, and a certain "Santa" ritual being missing from my life now. I cried. (It's okay, I cry alot.) But my son and daughter were concerned and as always, I told them exactly what was bothering me. "I miss being "Santa!" My daughter, so much sweeter than I deserve put her hand on my arm and with those big blue eyes (with a spash o brown in one) asked me, sincerely, "Do you want us to pretend?" AW.... Then my son said, "MOM? I believed, REALLY believed in Santa until I was EIGHT. I think ya did great!" Then he paused and said, "You would be worried about me if I still believed, wouldn't ya?" He had a point. And I guess the point of THIS, is that there is a beauty to everything in life. Not to say I won't kick and scream at every curve, but? every now and then, things are still and I can see it. Without change? There is only stagnation. something else I see all too clearly!  hugs you. |
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Fickel New Member
since 2002-12-28
Posts 1TX USA |
I just wanted you to know that you are not the only one dealing with changes. I too see that things are not the same, and I find myself wondering what is next? Friends have moved on to college, or now have families of their own...and I am still here pondering where my life will be going. I couldn't help but notice that in your post you mentioned working in a daycare, I work as a preschool teacher in a local church. My goal is to obtain a teaching degree. I am working on that now, but it seems as if the job I have chosen has left me with little opportunity to meet new people, and as far as dating...lol...there again, haven't even had the opportunity to meet people. So be glad that you have an opportunity to grow and to change...see sometimes it is harder to sit back and to watch as your friends move on, and to find that you are the one left behind! Trust me it is tough! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
My daughter comes home once a year or so..and when she does there is just one friend left that she hangs out with. She grew up with a group of 5 girlfriends that stayed close for about 3 years after high school. Then one after another they got married, had kids and 'moved on' a bit. She also has friends in New Mexico that she sees when she can - friends from her time in the Air Force. And friends in Florida - from her time in college. You're going to collect friends as you go along in life. Maintaining the important relationships will be up to you. Keep in touch with your friends - don't get stuck in the 'she hasn't written back to me so I'm going to wait until she does' syndrome. Don't stop writing just because your friend has...YOU keep the friendship alive as long as you can. As for home? I've lived in 3 places since my daughter left. Three homes she has never lived in. But when she comes here, she comes home. Your family is home. Not the place. And believe me, where ever you go, where ever they live, you will find home. Don't worry. This is just the first time you've encountered the awayness of life. |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*hugs* I'm in your situation right now. I had a sleepover with my best friend (who just got back from Australia), and I noticed so many things were different. We're still friends, and I think we have the connection that we'll always be friends, but I've come to the realisation that people move on. Her stories were full of her boyfriend, and my stories are full of all the awesome people I've met since going to university. I saw my ex boyfriend the other night, and I was able to carry on a fairly hilarious convo with him, but our friendship's changed too. We talk about things now that two months ago we wouldn't have dreamed of talking about with each other. My relationship with my parents is different too. My dad and I have only fought a bit hehe, so that's good. They've given me more freedom now; instead of saying "you can or can't do this", they say "you can if you want to, just let us know if you're going to be late" My relationship with my sister? Wow, we talk about everything under the sun now *grins* Things have changed, and as the holidays draw slowly to a close, I find myself looking forward to the new semester, and all the cool people I'm going to meet in the next three months. My best friend will always be a part of my life, and my family will always be the ones I turn to when I'm homesick or depressed, but life moves on, and I've learned so much from being on my own. *hugs* if you want someone to talk to, feel free to email me |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
When my daughter first left home, I missed her a great deal. But when she came back, I could not treat her as if she had never left. She had changed; so had I. Instead, we both focused on the future...and what we could offer to each other now that we had new ways in which to look at one another. Like Serenity...who would have been concerned were her son still believing in Santa...I would have been worried if my daughter did NOT notice the new gray hairs she had left me, or if I had not noticed the differences in her as she started on this new road of maturity... You only think it has all changed. What has changed, is you! For the better! Look around...and all that is to unfold, will...and you will help it all along. The new roads are just now beckoning...don't forget to take the road less traveled... |
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