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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-04-12 04:52 PM



Still another...death by suicide. Today I tried to count them and I couldn't...I think this makes thirteen now---I'm not even sure. I don't if there's statistics on this--but that seems like a pretty big number for one person to know THAT MANY who have taken their own lives. I don't really have the heart today for a discussion of whether it's right or wrong---I think that it doesn't much matter to them, and all the theories and opinions and discussion isn't going to change a thing. They are all still going to be dead. But I would like to apologize if I've been "invisable" to all my good poet people friends. I'm fine. I'm just feeling sort of RAW. I can't write, sleep or eat, and today I even lost my voice for a time. But I am wondering, is this what shock feels like? Or is this depression? And? Is this feeling similar to what they felt? I just don't know.

But know that I'm okay, just confused and feeling a bit disconnected right now. I'm still here. I just don't really feel like I am. Sorry, didn't mean to be a drag. I just had to talk about it, I think.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
1 posted 2001-04-12 06:31 PM


Yes I think you are in shock. Maybe it is what the ones that did this felt also. They just didn't know how to channel this deep hurt and confusion. Some are strong enough to accept the hurt one feels when someone they know take their life. You have admitted and faced the fact that too many are doing this. Be strong and live life, tomorrow will be another day.

[This message has been edited by inot2B (edited 04-12-2001).]

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2001-04-12 06:57 PM


Talk about things anytime, you know that is part of Passions. I hope you feel better soon. I don't understand why this is happening so much either. Very sad.
Take care.
Sandra

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-04-12 11:03 PM


First of all, big hugs to you. It's hard to lose so many people, under any circumstances. It's normal to feel sad and confused when people you know take their lives. I'd encourage you to maybe talk to someone in your life about it, maybe even a professional, if you feel you need it. I'm so glad that you came to us with these feelings, and we will always listen to you, but there are some things that people in your real life can do for you that we can't... but I'll do whatever possible to help you. Feel free to e-mail me with anything you need, or with any discussions you feel wouldn't be appropriate to post here.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-13 12:59 PM


I offer my hugs to you. I hope all gets well soon...


StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
5 posted 2001-04-14 01:02 AM


I can relate though I haven't really found anything to make the pain dissapear... every year since I was 15 (almost 11 years ago) I've had at least one friend commit suicide each year. I don't understand how or why and I probably never will... I went through a stage of "I'm not going to make any more friends because I'm tired of losing them" but that didnt work too well either so now I'm just thankful for my friends for being in my life for how ever long, and giving me the privlidge of knowing them. I don't condone suicide in any way I think my experiences have just made me more aware of how great friendship is and made me treasure it a little more.  I know this must be a hard time for you... if you would like to talk I'm just an email away ((((((((hugs)))))))))) take care

Shan

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
6 posted 2001-04-14 03:15 AM


Talk any time,, just as u build it people will come.... if you talk people will listen..
Bernie
a smile a day keeps the world in  's.

Bernie Slicker

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-04-14 04:05 AM


oh boy, do I know this feeling only being on the end of surviving suicide, I can tell the world there's nothing you can do to make yourself feel worse then know that some succeed. Last year,  I've watched my son agonize over the loss of a friend and sat there knowing I had contemplated it.  It's a crummy feeling.  You want to escape the pain; but maybe there's nothing we can do for others maybe there is, I would say everything living human being needs one thing and they need it in abundance, love? Yes, certainly, but they need acknowledgement that their existance matters.
Hugs to you....dear poet lady.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-04-16 02:59 PM


*Hugs*

I hope things turn around.  I've never lost anyone I knew to this circumstance.  It's not fair and no one should ever have to feel like taking their own life is the only way out.

I'll agree and say it's tragic..

I offer all my love to you, and I hope things get better.  You're in my prayers.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

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