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To Love or Not to Love---the premise of a question...
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To Love or Not to Love---the premise of a question... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.....a very famous quote... What does everyone think?.. I speak from the view of the loved and lost.. and say.... whoever wrote that line was never really in love to begin with,,,,, I would much rather to have never loved at all at this point... and i have had nearly 4 years of living the loved and lost life... Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I have to go with " better to have loved and lost" Where would I be if I had never loved, I think I'd be lost. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Always better to have loved and lost. Although I usaully am on the losing end. LOL There is another famous quote...... Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Jamie ... better to have loved and lost I believe. Being on the losing end may break one's heart, but it makes the winning end just that much sweeter when it does come around ... and it will! I wrote in a poem once "I appreciate the bad days ... for without them, how can I possibly appreciate the highs" ... call me an optomist.  |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
When my heart is broken I would say better to have never loved at all which means never to hurt at all. When I think of the feeling of actually being in love then I would say it's better to have loved and lost....geesh guess I don't have an answer do I  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't think I've ever truly been in love, so I'm not a good one to answer this (so why am I here you ask?) I want to believe in love. I want to believe that losing love is just another 'change' in our life..that it's better to know love..even if it's for a brief moment, than to never know it. As painful as losing love can be, there is no greater joy than falling in love. The first time you 'connect' with someone is like discovering magic...don't give up.... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Indeed tis better to have loved and lost. . . becuase even though losing is painful. . . there's nothing like being in love. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
I wrote this a few months ago ... it was originally posted in the pub, but I think it relays my thoughts on the subject so posting it here too If you could experience love for just one day Would you take the chance or throw it away? Knowing when the day was over your heart'd be on the ground Or whould you cherish the memory of a love so profound? Is that one moment worth all that it would cost Or would you live in misery at all that you had lost? Do you search and search but never really find Have you given up on love 'cause it's just too unkind? Now, what if I told you it's always been there right beneath you eyes And the heart that cannot see is the heart that always trys? Never happy with what is there, always wanting more That we don't see the love, we lock it out the door Do you see what I'm saying Is my meaning not yet clear Why is it so easy to listen Yet so hard to hear? Love is always there for us be it by lover or friend An undefinable emotion it knows no beginning or end Just because it's not seen doesn't mean it's not there And if you are ever in doubt just tell someone you care!! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Okay--- I agree,,, It probably is better that I had a great love for 15 wonderful years. But it doesn't make it any easier. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If it was easy to get over it, then it wasn't as great as you thought....the better the love, the harder it is to recover from it's loss.. |
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PandorasBox New Member
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2New Jersey |
I just want to introduce myself and say hello everyone And to add my 2 cents into this discussion.... Better to have loved and lost, and that's because what doesn't kill only makes you stronger.OK so you might feel like your going to die, but think .... This is making you stronger! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
To love or not to love... Yep! Choices, you've got to love 'em! |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
...Sigh... I don't know... it may be better... but it hurts... a lot. Peace Jamie |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
My dearest Jamie: An answer to your question. Hugss <**> "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. They say love hides behind every door then I must be walking in circles. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Jamie~ I've learned something from everyone I've ever loved. I have some fantastic memories as well as some devestating ones.I've given heartache as well as recieved it.I don't think I would be who I am today without having loved and lost.....I like who I am.....so I think it's better to have loved.I can't imagine going through life not loving.....we just aren't made that way.We are supposed to love. There is always going to be the possibility of losing the ones you love, we are after all human.I think our life experience becomes richer when we love more. Just my take on it. -SEA |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Me? I will jump into the possibility of anything, if only to escape the probability of NOTHING. (but that's just ME...HUGS) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
If you have never loved then you do not know what it feels like to be complete. Imagine someone who has never known what it feels like to be unselfish, patient, giving, kind, gentle. True love is patient and kind, unselshish and tolerant. To never have felt that strength in emotion is to never had the oportunity to truely know yourself. Each situation in our lives teaches us something about ourselves. We can take the experience and learn or we can wallow in the pain. Loving is a very good thing in whatever capacity we are capable of loving. The secret in this area is being able to recognize a person who is like ourselves. Someone who can love in the same capacity as we can. To give love to another who can not return it in the same capacity is to look for heartache. There are things about ourselves that we can not change (or are unwilling to) and we must find someone who relates to those qualities. Love takes time to develop and it is only time that can heal the pain of loss. I know this pain intimately but I am not afraid of loving again. Accually I look forward to finding the man I can love completely and truely. The one who wins my love will be a very lucky man. It will be complete and true. It will also not be given away foolishly; I have been down that road before. Good luck to you and know that your friends keep you in their thoughts. Marilyn. When you are old and grey and full of sleep, And nodding by the fire, take down this book, And slowly read, and dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false or true, But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrows of your changing face... William Butler Yeats |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I'd go with better loved a lost, because at least you know someone cared at one point than never at all. Sometimes you have to let go and move on, But never let go of the memories. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
It is better to live a little, forever and a day, than to have no love, no brightness any day.. Isis *I believe every time you put your words to paper, you change. Each feeling is set free, and you may follow.....* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I definently agree with this quote. Those who have loved and lost may have lost the greatest treasure that ever entered into their lives, but that also means, at one time, they possessed it. There are people that never possess the treasure, nor do they get to lay eyes on it. All they do is dream of it. Dreams are comfortable, but they aren't real. They are a shadowed reality, and they only comfort the poor souls that never really feel anything else. But those who have felt love have felt life, and even if the love ceases, the feeling that was felt can never be forgotten. Although they have only lived for an instant, they have really lived. The people who never love never really live. They don't know how it feels to lose something as wonderful as love, but it's only because they have never felt anything. There's my 2 cents.< !signature--> False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 10-30-2000).] |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I agree and disagree with the quote. And here is why. Agree: Because at least you feel in love and had someone but then something made that change. Your feelings didnt quite feel what they did before. And they gave up on something that they once thought was something really good to them. Disagree: If you never loved someone then that means you never had the happiness of all good things that love brings. Those little things that make your day happier. The little things that make you smile. And those really happy moments that bring tears to your eyes because it makes you so happy. I dont know if this makes any sense. Well to me it does. I dont know about the rest of yous. But I would rather agree with the quote. To have something and then let things change. And besides for all the guys its better. It is (supposedly) a proven fact that when guys have a female companion around that they live like 5 years more (or 2??). Im not sure if that is exact or not. ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Anything in life that is worth anything involves risk. To love is to risk rejection, heart-ache, but weigh that against the possible gains. There is not a doubt that love is worthy of the risk. mia ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
We really don't have a choice... Love wins..  |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
At my worst, I hate this quote. I wish had never known him. I hate myself for still caving in at the sound of his name. And every sweetness that filled me in places I hadn’t fathomed rakes me open until I feel like I will physically die from anguish. Because of the intensity of my loss, I have grown in ways that only absolute despair can make a person grow. And I am a stronger, more amazing being because of it. I am glad for that reason. Even though, four years later, I’m still swimming in the grief of losing two weeks of perfection. But I would kill for a second chance at anything resembling it, even if it ended as cruelly as the time before. And I pity anyone who hasn’t known love in that kind of strength. I don’t know if that means I agree or disagree. I’m not sorry it happened 90% of the time… what does that say? Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does; Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well i'd have to say that I'd rather not lose a love. Who wants that eh? I strongly believe that if you have not experienced true love then you have not fully lived your life. But the quote, i think it can go you know where. If you haven't loved.....then oK! It's better to love somebody and then lose them! So either love and keep.....or love none at all......  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
As if there's really a choice... Michael |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
Funny how love is this way and that. It makes us build walls to hide behind when we loose so we cannot feel that pain anymore but then you can't let love in if you hide in there.Take a chance and buy lots of bandaids. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Jamie, I THINK it is better to have loved, and felt the feeling, than to never have felt it at all. But these days, I am close to wishing I could block out all my memories and start over, so who knows. Wrong person to try to answer this, I guess. But being in love is wonderful. Losing it is the worst pain imaginable. Trade off? I'm not sure anymore. Sandra |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Jamie, in a heartbeat I would choose to embrace love rather than to have not. To know my life was touched by love and to feel its embrace even for a short while, is a reason why my heart continues to beat everyday. When all is done, and love is gone, now heartache does nestle in, but thru it all, the joys and pain, makes the person we are today. Coco |
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