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Open Poetry #39
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Just Another Poem
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Just Another Poem |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
Well...I'm Posting here a new poem. the last one i posted(Love Night) was not commented by anyone, i guess it's strike one for me then...well..i hope this one can meet your expectations. The Rain and Me There is Something About the Rain That bothers Me I Still Don't Know If it is the Cold or The Feeling of being Wet Or If it is the Sound of its Drops Falling That Sad Noise Always Gets in my Mind Many People Believe that the rain is nice and many others think of it as a Depressing Picture My Mother Once Told me that when the Rain falls You can Speak to your Heart Freely I've Tried many times but my Heart never answers Could it be that there is no answer? Could it doesn't Want to answer? Or may be i'm Heartless? There is Something About the rain That Bothers Me I don't Know what it is yet but i know I'll Know Someday And There is Something That I didn't Say I've got One Problem With the Rain The Problem is that Everytime i hear it I just Can't Stop thinking that we are no longer toghether And I just Hope that some day the rain will pass on and i'll see the sun Next to you Again. Now i've Got to leave. Having said all I wanted, All about my problems between the Rain and Me. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Denis-DreamerSpirit - All Rights Reserved | |||
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themute Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469Maryland |
i've had the same troubling/agrovating displeasure that you have Dreamer, but this need be more about your own expression than the exultation or expressed interest of others towards your words. i would say that you have a good voice, but you lack the right words, keep writing and eventually you'll find them. I am the two-toed wanderer |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Denis, this place is slow sometimes...just happens that way. Don't get frustrated if you don't get many replies. The secret I've found is to keep the poem short. People don't usually like to stay on one page to read a long poem. Another secret is to make yourself known here...comment as much as you can on other people's work. The more you are around, the more you will learn and the more you will be read by others. And themute is a very smart guy too...good advice from him |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Yes, he is....in fact, they both are... she and he both...and what they say is correct....with time, experience and seeing what others do to enhance their poetry, all will come around. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
one thing I did want to say about this poem is that I was a little distracted by the use of capital letters where they are not grammatically correct... good thoughts in it though |
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themute Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469Maryland |
One more thing, dont under any circomstances think that we are worthy of your gratification, in otherwords, don't ever think that we are jeniouses/artists of any kind of merit. only until one has made a masterpice can their prais or criticism be taken seriously. I am the two-toed wanderer |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
Well, to everyone that has replied Thanks for the critics, and the advice. And yes, i'll keep writing. And about the capital letters..it's somewhat a habit a have..as you might know i'm not english and i'm learning how to speak and write it properly. I'll Accept any advice on how to write with better orthography, after all i'm still learning. Thanks all for your support. |
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