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broken playhouse memories
| Open Poetry #35 |
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broken playhouse memories |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought 
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He sat beneath an oak tree in shadows of the rain while twilight shifted from stars, to shades of morning. Still, the sun would never rise, caught in blind clouds and other people's dreams. He was bleak. With nowhere left to run, while life became a reason for dying. And it was nothing logical, but hope was a liquid that spilled from muddy hearts and broken playhouse memories. I caught him trying to climb his way to Heaven. But oaks, while grand, are far less glorious than the prayers of a lonely soul. He was a man of sorrows |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Golden Girl, have I ever told you how truly impressive your talent is?!? ~ Of course I have!!! ~ and I am saying it yet again. Even your titles blow me over! I know that with a brave heart, you continue to endure hardship and pain in your young life, but this gift is surely a magnificent ray of sunshine. I deeply feel whatever poem of yours that I have had the pleasure of reading. You truly do have the soul of a poet. Sending a big, loving, healing hug to someone who is herself, a gift.   EA |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
You, GG, are extremely gifted with voice and sound... this was an exceptional...both vocal and a must read... Thank you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This was written so well, it required more than one reading, because one could skim over it and say, "that's good" but a second and third reading says, "oh, feel the empathy with me..." Well done, Alyssa... |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
GG, Linda said it a lot better than I could! I've always thought you were quite talented. You reach for the soul of the reader! sincerely, sadie |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
All of this IS extremely well written, but you would probably guess that these are my favorite lines: "while life became a reason for dying" You have just written a new favorite. No bouncing b.s. here. 'Tis excellent.  |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
you paint the picture of a desolate soul with humanity and grace |
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saved_by_grace Member
since 2005-01-08
Posts 332In the arms of God... |
DANG GIRL!!! This brought tears to my eyes!!  VERY BEAUTIFUL!! Becka |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
killer ending - well done all round - SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Still, the sun would never rise, caught in blind clouds and other people's dreams. He was bleak. With nowhere left to run, while life became a reason for dying. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I caught him trying to climb his way to Heaven. But oaks, while grand, are far less glorious than the prayers of a lonely soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yep...youve done it again.  and you know Im gonna have to mention "reminded them of funerals" because this one has that same edge and essence to it... when ever you tap into this muse, your writing takes on a depth and expession that the reader cant help but notice... great personification and imagery in this too. Keep exploring this muse...I believe it will be the direction your poetry will lead to naturally. Very well done poetess Alyssa. one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Alyssa, this is exceptional writing... All of it is exceptional. Enjoyed the depth and meaning of it. Well done!! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
GG, Such a gift you have! You etch truth of love and pain into one's soul. miscee |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Linda, I can't say that my heart is all that brave. Sure, I go through bad stuff, but it isn't as if I do it gladly, or as if I'm making something great of it. Just some quasipoet who happens to have some awesome people around her who say great things like about how I have talent. Of course, I do sincerely appreciate those people Thank you much.  LeeJ, too bad that doesn't mean I can sing. I was informed this weekend that I just didn't fit into the family because my music abilities were so bad lol ...but hey, I guess it's a fair trade to have poetry instead. Nono, don't thank me... thank you. Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Sunshine, wow, what a huge compliment. To think that anyone would be able to survive (much less desire) to read anything I wrote more then once through amazes me. Wish I had the health lately to be around here more and read more often. Miss your writing. Thanks so much for the reply. Sadie, hey you, good to see ya again. Still not sure what all you see in me or my writing but I feel so honored that you enjoy it. Someday you'll realise it isn't all you say it is lol ...hope all is going well for you. Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Ser, you know, you really are easy to guess. But no worries, that's the part I'm most satisfied with, as well. The inspiration for this actually came from a photo I took of a breaking down fort my grandpa built for me before he died... that mixed with my love of crying under the oak trees at the cemetary, mixed with some magnled me and the word 'he' to make it about anyone other then me. Thanks for the honest kindness, very cool of you. Wish I could be here to read you more. Argh. Dern health. Anyway, thank you again. Vandana, glad ya liked it! Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
inked, 'humanity and grace' what wonder compliments! I think being able to write of someone with those two things is one of the goals of every poet. Thanks so much for reading and replying... much appreciated. Becka, Thanks for the compliments. I'm glad you liked it. Think we've probably all been that person beneath the oak tree at some point in life. Oh, did I ever mention to you I love the nick saved_by_grace? 'Cause I do! God bless you...Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Susan, the ending sort of took it in a different direction then I'd planned... though the idea was one I liked even more, and was more true to the actual events. But while I never really took the time to care too much about it, I hestated on whether it said what I wanted it to say. Glad you enjoyed it, eases some of my tension a little. Thanks much JM, lol somehow I knew you'd reply and mention that poem. I oughtta name the muse R-tof after the poem Not sure I'll ever come up with another that anyone finds to be the same caliber of writing as that one. But that alright... I mean, as long as I keep working on it. I do really enjoy this kind of writing, feels soothing to be able to put an emotion into words so much especially something like depression which is so common now. It does seem a bit bland though because every poem just uses the words dream, lonely, heart, and death. Guess I need to work on that. Oh well. Anyway, your comments always mean a lot to me so thanks so much for taking the time to look at this and to reply. You're awesome. Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Barry, exceptional, wow, big compliment. Thanks so much, sir. I love your writing and wish so much that I could be here more to read it. So glad you liked this, and thanks for replying, too. Hope all is well for you. Miscee,  far, far, far too kind. Thanks so much... hope I can read you soon.Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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