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Open Poetry #35

Affected Feelings.

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

0 posted 2005-03-04 04:41 AM

Move me with words ardent,
walk gracefully, arms open, silent.
Feel tears of love, emotion,
heart of love and sheer devotion.
Daybreak, clouds purple, tawny verged,
oceans love, deep, submerged.
Twilight tints, cerulean blue,
flying home to dream of you.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

1 posted 2005-03-04 05:52 AM

I like the images

Gloom

[This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (03-04-2005 10:14 AM).]

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

2 posted 2005-03-04 06:08 AM

This how i wrote it and this is how it stays...if i do it your way it will have no stucture..and the ryming stanzas will be lost...or confused...but thank you for your ''education''....to explain further, i wrote it initialy as two quatrains, but decided to put them together to form a ''double quatrain'', if i had changed it , then the rhyme would have been lost...

Goldenrose.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

[This message has been edited by Goldenrose (03-05-2005 04:34 AM).]

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