falcon - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2004-11-11 03:17 PM

                    falcon

               grass

                      a few leaves

      gray feather

                      oh the dove

           another

                      then

              a tuft

                     of down

                and

                     I know

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2004-11-11 03:40 PM

yes...
sparse imagery, but with form and good choice of words, you deliver strong...

well done sir.. and the metaphor stands in nature or in man...

enjoyed!

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

2 posted 2004-11-11 04:42 PM

Interesting piece, Ed. I love the form and lack of rhyme to convey meaning. I have tried and just can't do it. Well done. Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

3 posted 2004-11-11 08:05 PM

Truly a great write Ed.

Eric

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2004-11-11 08:28 PM

Ed

It is fitting that you write this in this manner....just seems right. As always, your poetic sensitivity is right on!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-11-12 03:34 AM

so little said, but so much taken

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

6 posted 2004-11-12 05:09 AM

You have captured the moment, the event...
What more is there to life and death but moments like this?

enjoyed
---------ice
><>

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

7 posted 2004-11-12 07:36 AM

Very e.e.
Positional poetry done well
The words and placement give the overall feel
Where the words alone might not

Gloom

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2004-11-16 09:57 AM

Stark... and incredibly moving... No one has a better grasp for saying exactly enough. *S*

Excellent work!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

9 posted 2004-11-16 08:34 PM

and

I know

Yes.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

10 posted 2004-11-16 10:25 PM

Do I see a spiraling dive here?

hmmm

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.