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Teen Poetry #7

Laced with Brilliant Smiles and Shining eyes

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

0 posted 2004-08-21 07:41 PM

A big cold frost takes all the
Attention
and gives a Big show
gets all Eyes
as the disease comes silently
subtle and unseen
Kills all the eyes
That stare in the eyes of the sweeping frost
What has more effect?
the frost that captures?
or the disease that kills?

I believe that lovers should be tied together and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather and left there to drownin their innocence

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-08-21 08:05 PM

I like this one so much.
"Kills all the eyes
That stare in the eyes of the sweeping frost"
Perhaps change eyes to something else. too repeatative.

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