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Teen Poetry #7
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dear raymond
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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dear raymond |
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southern sweetheart Junior Member
since 2003-12-28
Posts 18 |
i walked the world lost and confused i was ready to give up i had nothing 2 lose then one day you came into my life u took my breath away you gave me a second chance at life i realized i was in love but how and why i didnt know all i know are the facts i love you with all my heart this is kinda short and arent like my others but i guess when u fall in love everything changes |
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| © Copyright 2004 jamie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
It didnt flow very well to me. But it was sweet, and otherwise not to bad. Karissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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dodge_chick2003 Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136California |
Hey, I can relate to this but the ending came kinda to soon. Keep up at the good work |
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SCREAMIN Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 51US, Tx |
i like the fact that it didnt have perfect flow or metering. It reflects the subject; love isn't supposed to be perfect to everyone, just those captured by it. lovely. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I liked this....the only thing i don't really like is how for "you" you did "u" and for "two" you put a "2". I think that that takes away from the poem...but it really doesn't matter. I also agree, that the ending came wwaayy too soon.  Overall great job!  ~Alli~ I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry. |
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