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Teen Poetry #7
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muchos
Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 102


0 posted 2003-12-04 10:55 PM


To some its like a  nightmare
For which they cannot stand
The pain and saddness is hard to bare
Please lend a helpng hand
The tears that have been shed
The hearts that now are broke
The fear that lies inside your head
You wish it was a jok
The ones who lost their lives
The fear they must hve felt
To have it all come down on them
The thought just makes me melt
Rescuers try as best they can
To save the helpless souls
For every woman and every man
To decrease the large death toll
All the hope we have for them
Is growing more and more
Our prayers are pouring out to them
To end this wretched war
All we can do is just embrace
With the ones who felt the pain
The tears that lie upon there face
Will leave a bitter stain

© Copyright 2003 *Ashley Allin* - All Rights Reserved
TheGirlNoOneKnew
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 92
PA, USA
1 posted 2003-12-05 04:13 PM


This was nice, the flow went along nicely and it fit well. There were a few spelling errors but hey, it happens lol. Good write.
frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
2 posted 2003-12-05 05:19 PM


It did flow really well, I liked the idea of the poem too, but the spelling mistakes took away from the poem because they caught my eye and distracted me from the actual poem.  Nice write

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

broken627
Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 66
Eugene Oregon
3 posted 2003-12-05 06:34 PM


This was very good!fix the spelling and it will be great!love to hear more!
-*-broken627-*-

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