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Teen Poetry #7

like a willow

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2006-08-24 11:06 PM

sitting here in anticipation,
waiting to give him an interogation,
if he likes me that way,
and if he's willing to stay

if he loves me half the way i love him,
i'd be convinced he's not a whim,
because i love him more than just a friend,
if he doesn't feel the same way i will bend,

but i will not break,
for his sake,
i might be in a tight spot,
and my heart will be in a knot,

but i'll strive until it's done,
and in the end it's like i won,
it's over and gone now,
i'd let it go i just don't know how.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-08-27 09:14 PM

It's kind of confusing, no offence. I don't really know, it just seems like the story is muddled up a little bit, like you need to explain what is happening, a little more. This could just be me though, I get confused a lot.

I liked the usage of a willow tree as the metaphor though. It was something that is common place, yet, it's still an interesting subject.

Thanks for sharing

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2006-09-03 07:58 PM

Hey Krysti! I kind of agree with stargal, in that towards the end of the poem it starts to get a little confusing. But overall, a nice write by you. Keep posting!

~Alli~

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