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Teen Poetry #7
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Need To Be Your Everthing
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Need To Be Your Everthing |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York 
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Walking this lonely path of defeat standing tall in my darkest hour ignoring glass shards gutting my feet futily chasing hope's fading power I chose to take this path alone to help any that I think I can It's the only path I've ever known and now I finally make my last stand I've always been that one guy the one they cling to in the rain when the sun sets in their sky drowning their souls in pain I've always been there helping them find security Leading to a place where they can seek for purity They always need me forever I'm the helping hand then they always leave me once they remember how to stand I don't want to be needed loved is all I want to be I want to come home to be greeted by one who loves me for me I'd love to be your everything I'd surely make you mine I think there's no better thing than love of tht kind Not for one to need me but want me all the same to be able to call it as I see it and not get caught up in the game I can't be the bandaid; can't live that life anymore It's slowly making me fade and it kills me at the core So please don't love me if it's not a love sincere I've been through that you see and it's killed all I hold dear So let me be your everything I know I'll make you mine and I would give up anything to find a love that fine But if I give you everything, please give the same of you because if you remeber anything know that I'm fragile inside too. ******************************************* I'm sure this isn't my best work, and I'm not even sure if I want to keep it.Actually, I'm rather sure that it sucks, but it's what came out, and for better or worse, I'll share it. "I'm burning in the heavens, |
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| © Copyright 2004 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Are you serious? I absolutly loved it! If this isn't very good in your opinion then I'm going to have to look at ur other ones more closely! lol Sorry, I just, wow I loved this, and I could relate sooo well, especially right now! They always need me forever I'm the helping hand then they always leave me once they remember how to stand That was my favorite part. I loved it, hope you don't mind if I keep it? amazing job AIM-blueyed angel940 |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
First off, this does not suck! None of your poems have EVER sucked! I think your an amazing poet and this goes to show it.  This write was amazing...I loved these parts the best.... "So let me be your everything I know I'll make you mine and I would give up anything to find a love that fine But if I give you everything, please give the same of you because if you remeber anything know that I'm fragile inside too." ....especailly the last two lines. I'm going to put this into my library too!  ~Alli~ Happy Holidays! |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Well, this got more attention then I thought it deserved! Not that I'm complaining! It's nice to know that my work reached someone. Erin - Yeah, sure, go ahead and keep those lines for your very own! And I guess that the reason I think it wasn't my best, is that I had to struggle with it so much. It didn't just flow like those poems I consider my best. I actually had to work for this one. Though I suppose that in itself dosen't make it bad, huh? Alli - So nothing I write sucks? Wow.. I wish I had that kind of confidence in my work. I'm glad you like this one so much as to add it to your library! And congrats on the mod status! I can think of few here better suited than you. "I'm burning in the heavens, |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Wow... This poem is so awesome. Did I mention wow? This really got to me, I can relate to it so well. The wording and everything else about it was excellent. This is going in my library. Beautiful art here. *resisting the urge to bow* But Im comforted |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is yet another AMAZING POEM by you rich... evn if it didnt flow straight out and that you had to work for it it is beautiful and heart felt... keep them coming rich this is going in my library Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
I think plenty of people could relate to this one...it's a very human thing to take when the need is there and then vanish as the need disappears. Helping others could never be a bad thing, just have to accept the fact that when they take the help they aren't signing a contract to appreciate or repay it. I guess when the person stays for longer than the help time, they are a true friend or more as the case may be. Anyway excuse my ramblings...neat poem. "Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
I like it, a lot. nice flow... kk peace "They say that truth will set you free, but then so will a lie. It all depends if you're trying to get to the promised land or just trying to get by." |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I have come across few poems that hit closer to home than this. It reminds me of a dear friend who has walked the same path. In fact, I may send him the link, so he knows that he isn't the only one, and that there is hope for change. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece with us. Savage |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
We as artists are our own worst critics. I however found this to be a very powerful and emotional write. I loved every bit of it. keep those words flowing. -John nice use of muffin |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
You don't like this one hmm?? well I suppose that figures, it always seems that the ones we think need the most improvement, to others, need the least! I have read quite a few of yours myself and I have to say that this may be up there in the favorites list, very honest and open...and inspiring! I think I'll go now to write my own!! ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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