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Teen Poetry #7
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UnsilencedWords666
Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

0 posted 2004-04-06 08:26 PM


*This is a poem that I wrote to a boyfrined of mine right before we began dating...it was my way of telling him I liked him but was too afraid to tell him for fear of rejection*

If I tell you my past,
Will it scare you away?

If I tell you my feelings,
Will you acknowledge them?

If I look in your eyes,
Will you look into mine?

If I say I love you,
Will you reply the same?

If I reach for your hand,
Will you hold it?

If I give you a hug,
Will you embrace me?

If I reach for your lips,
Will you kiss me?

If I love you,
Will you love me back?

If I tell you not to care,
Will you listen?

If I need you,
Will you be there?

If we fight,
Will you still love me?

If I push you away,
Will you pull me closer?

If I cry,
Will you wipe away my tears?

If I give you all I have to give,
Can you promise to do the same?

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

© Copyright 2004 UnsilencedWords666 - All Rights Reserved
TheGirlNoOneKnew
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 92
PA, USA
1 posted 2004-04-06 08:53 PM


Aww that was really sweet! You know, the best and worst things about love is the uncertainty of how someone else feels.  Great write!
Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding
2 posted 2004-04-07 04:49 AM


This was grate it was pretty unique...but it just kind of felt like it was a collection of random emotions that’s not a bad thing really I do it all the time but I like to read them under my breath and I see some things I would like to change...that was just a little input for ya, thanks for the read...keep writing

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2004-04-07 06:31 PM


hmmm...i didnt like it all that much. it was alright, but it was too straight forward for me. if i received it though, i would love it!
Fleur
Member
since 2004-04-09
Posts 103

4 posted 2004-04-13 11:13 AM


Hey! Nice Poem, I've just read it! -Maybe too late , but whateva !

-I just wanna tell you that I loved it! There's something special about the poem, which I can't explain. You've done a great job. This reminds me about a boy I had a crush on (and still have), he left a week ago... Well, this poem reminds me about the questions  in my mind while he was here... And I never got the answers, now he's gone...
- Really nice work...  

UnsilencedWords666
Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears
5 posted 2004-04-13 05:43 PM


Thanx alot you guys...I really think everyone captured the true meaning of what I was trying to say...it's not really supposed to be deep or anything it's just supposed to be a straight thing on how I feel!

*~*nessa bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
6 posted 2004-04-13 06:29 PM


I love your poem!
I think that everyone at one time or another feels this way and wonders if the person  they like, likes them back.  You summed up all the worry and nervousness really well and I applaud you for it!!!
Great Job!!!

~Alli~

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