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Dark Poetry #4
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Rape the sky
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Rape the sky |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I am such a dreamer, and I lie upon the chrisp sands of this green pebbled beach. Something beautiful is brewing in my mind, and its just about ready for consumtion. I sample my expermintation, A slight tingle on the back of my throat. I name it after you. I lost my viginity to the sun. And now anyone who looks at me is sunbaked and blistering. So I wear a grey sweater to mute this ridiculous brightness, and I pray for tears. They pray for rain. For a washing clean of the filth. But he comes to me every morning, in his monsterous rising. They bask in the glory that is their death. I lay above the ocean, upon my light blue hammock, and no one is willing to love me, they just gaze and lust after my dismal beauty. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gothika_07 Member
since 2004-01-15
Posts 61new zealand |
OMG THIS IS A SERIOUSLY POWERFUL AND MOVING POEM. I SERIOUSLY LOVED IT AND IT MADE ME THNK! KEEP WRITIN MORE BEX |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
"I lost my virginity to the sun" ...whoah...didn't know ya kud do that, lol, this is really nice, great imagery here =) good job. - River sleep my precious slumber |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i enjoyed this unusual perspective..very refreshing |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
yeah..you have to look at it from the perspective that I'm the sky, then it might make more sense. Thanks for the comments.  ~Lex |
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Vagabond Member
since 2004-01-23
Posts 163 |
eh? I really don't understand this one Vagabon the Lost One |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
neat piece, interesting |
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gpc Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43 |
This is fantastic, although I had to read your comment to be able to get what it was about - very good when I re-read though. Perhaps you should consider changing the title as it implies somebody doing something to the sky when the poem is about the sky doing things to other people. |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
no, its about the sun doing something horrible to the sky, thus the sky becomes scarred and hurts ppl. because of this. Its about her trying to cover for her pain. But it just ends up hurting ppl. But it all comes back to the fact that the sun raped the sky. |
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