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Dark Poetry #4

Lost in the forest

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2005-07-22 12:32 PM

A random path winds through a forest,
makes for a perfect escape
to one who starts the day
waking up from a dreamless sleep.

Lush green explodes as the eye
moves closer into thick woods
wrapping around a faint stony trail
unmarked, rarely explored.

A hint of sweetness, almost seductive,
beckons those who walk in silence.
I tread with gentle care, fearing
to disturb its stillness.

I must shred off fetters from my mind
as I enter these hallowed grounds
or the gods who guard the forest
will deny me entrance into their world.

I look deep into patterns of color
sharpened by early light filtering through,
my senses lift into a new level of awareness
Wild leaves whisper to the phantoms in my heart

I wonder if I should go back to my world
where I am forever in dreamless state,
desiring change in the pressure of things,
or should I just stay lost in the forest.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2005-07-22 12:58 PM

Josefina~

'I look deep into patterns of color
sharpened by early light filtering through,
my senses lift into a new level of awareness
Wild leaves whisper to the phantoms in my heart'

The all of this is strikingly lovely ...
but ... there was just something in 'wild leaves whisper to the phantoms in my heart' that plain downright got to me !!

Thank you for sharing this~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

2 posted 2005-07-24 11:30 PM

I like it. Not so sure about the ending. And I would suggest changing the first line to "A random path winding through the forest."

Thanks for sharing.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2005-07-28 02:01 AM

Thanks Marge for reading me.
You're right Savage, "winding" feels better to the tongue.

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