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Dark Poetry #4
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Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2004-10-20 03:35 PM


It's not really the type of thing you say in a coffee shop.
It would make more sense to hear it screamed over all the orange at the prison at visiting hour.
Or from the witness stand in a court room as the lawyers review their notes.
In the autopsy room, while they cut at your gray body and look for the cause of death as I smile.
Because you killed me, you broke a little girl.
And you deserve to breathe in dirt.
No flowers on your grave.
No one will pity you.
I laughed at the sound when your head hit the black and white titled floor.
Your lip was busted...like mine was that afternoon in august.
I talk of this revenge in a coffee shop, over the sound of blenders and love songs.
It's not really the place for it.

© Copyright 2004 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2004-10-20 04:46 PM


Alexis?

what a powerful write, I commend you
I know the same pain.


Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-10-21 01:19 AM


God, great ending.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2004-10-21 06:42 PM


"Because you killed me, you broke a little girl.
And you deserve to breathe in dirt.
No flowers on your grave.
No one will pity you."


That part drew me in...I liked the ending too.  Awesome poem.
Congrats on 800 posts.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
4 posted 2004-10-22 12:22 PM


oh wow!

amazing woah i loved this one!

im going to save this one to read again when I'm in a "not so good" mood.

the begining was awesome, and then the ending just topped it off

love and empathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
5 posted 2004-10-22 08:30 AM


"In the autopsy room, while they cut at your gray body and look for the cause of death as I smile"

I Love This Line....Great Poem All Together  


I'd Rather Be Hated For Who I Am Then Loved For What I'm Not~!~

Much Luv,
~!~"Trina"~!~

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