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Dark Poetry #4
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vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

0 posted 2004-10-19 10:47 PM



I smile as I see you
Hold the bloodied knife
Above your head.
Whats the matter?
Too scared to scab
Me in the back
Again?

You've done it before,
Whats different now?
Don't play an innocence,
Repention card on me.
I've heard it too many
Times,
To believe for a moment
That you might not be
Lying through your pearly white teeth.

Come on, stab me
While I lie here at your feet,
Ready to take the final blow.
Whats the problem?
is it that this time,
You're holding my knife,
Instead of your own.

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

© Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-10-20 01:02 AM


This reminds me of a song where this guy is going to cut his girl's head off and he spends all this time talking about how great it will be and what he is going to do afterward, then he moves to do it and the blood ends up running down cold around his own neck and she has cut his head off instead.  I think its kinda funny.  Its a fatal love/hate relationship.  lol.  This poem though seems more like maybe the backstabber has been using her knige so long that maybe she just doesn't know how to use yours or realizes what she's doing and gets tripped up.  Pretty cool.

-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  -Ecclesiastes 3:11

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-10-20 01:06 AM


yer this was pretty cool.
the song sounds cool lol
what is it?

i think these poems about ya no who, are awesome and i love what your doing with them. From all adversity comes good, and from her selfishness comes great poetry. good job

LOR

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2004-10-20 09:51 AM


again, using the knife as a metaphor for his blackness . . . nice writing V.
Nice vent.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
4 posted 2004-10-20 11:15 PM


The song is "Headless"(imagine that)by a death metal group called Cannibal Corpse.  

-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  -Ecclesiastes 3:11

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
5 posted 2004-10-20 11:33 PM


damn death metal...(sorry, just not into much metal) at least it isn't as bad as nu metal...slipknot makes me want to smash my head into walls

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
6 posted 2004-10-21 12:52 PM


ooo lovely poem

yes the song is cool. very metal tho.

i enjoyed reading this, haha i can realte "kursed"

love and empathy
darkness

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
7 posted 2004-10-21 02:04 AM


sometimes i really feel "kursed" though...
hey..that actually looks kinda cool in an uncool way lol..or not...*shifty eyes*...ill be going now...*starts whistling*...WHY IS EVERYTHING STARING AT ME?? OH DEAR GOD!!...*runs away*

please ignore the above...i think ive really lost the plot this time

"I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
8 posted 2004-10-21 07:58 AM


hey another amazing one.....
hehehe... everyone has to loose it at some stage kirst and well.... you have a long long way to go.... take it from me... i lost the plot wen i was about 7......
ne ways..... brilliant.... just brilliant... you know im here for ya.... love the work
Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

PeaceInEverything
Junior Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 31
Ohio, United States
9 posted 2004-10-23 10:15 AM


Nice Poem!  I really feel it.  I think my favorite part is the end:

"Whats the problem?
is it that this time,
You're holding my knife,
Instead of your own."

These lines I think are the most powerful in the poem.  This was very well written and expressed.

Thank you for your poem.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
10 posted 2004-10-23 07:40 PM


"Whats the matter?
Too scared to scab
Me in the back
Again?"


I can realte.  Especially the lines above.
Great job.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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