»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #30
»
The Pepto Bismol Wedding (Trista & Ryan's Wedding)
| Open Poetry #30 |
|
The Pepto Bismol Wedding (Trista & Ryan's Wedding) |
|
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't know how many of you watched last night as two reality TV people got married. The story is long and complicated - they met on a dating show. ABC paid them one million dollars to broadcast their wedding and pick up the tab for everything. They paid for the dress, the shoes, the flowers, the reception EVERYTHING. The bride seemed to relish the attention (who would want millions of people to watch such a special intimate event?). All through the process of planning the event her poor boyfriend had little say in what they did (though he refused to wear a pink tie!). So pink was the color..and it was everywhere!! After all was said and done, the wedding cost almost 4 million dollars. I hadn't watched the other programs leading up to the ceremony but wanted to see what that money bought so I watched last night. Here is a poem I wrote as I watched. It's not perfectly metered by any means. But I think you'll see that my emotions are very clear! The Pepto Bismol Wedding Ah, there it is now! They opened the gate Where’s Seabisquit Now that would be great They give the commentary Like this is a WWE knockdown All these lovely grannies Wearing an understated gown I have a stomachache Watching all this waste Even Charles and Diana Had a modicum of taste! The rosebuds were flung Down the aisle with great care In hopes that a SWAT team Would pull Ryan outta there! They say this wedding is Every young girls dream But it looks like a nightmare Wake me up I want to scream! The camera shots were cued By some guy in a gray van Is it to late to switch the Groom with the best man The groomsmen walk out And this gig is underway The helicopters hovering Waiting for their ABC pay The groom had to be pulled Down the aisle by his dad His mother smiled woodenly But Trista’s family was so glad Finally her room would be changed The color they hated could be painted We hear that when she heard that Poor Trista almost fainted. And what’s this in the middle Just before we see the bride? A Commercial is taken? My god have they got no pride? They are calling this fiasco The wedding of the decade Pardon me if I barf at this Presumptuous accolade! And now they return to the scene Nervously waiting for the bride All the bridesmaids toddle down the aisle (named in a quiet aside) The flower girls are adorable They give no cause for complaint They look very much at home In a scene that’s sweet and quaint The firetruck kid stole the whole show It was the cutest thing It’ll be copied now you know! And now another commercial? Before the wedding of the decade? Oh god this is so sickening Someone pass me a Rolaid! The moment we’ve all waited for Here comes the bride I guess By now we’ve seen her so much In this anticlimactic mess The trumpets blared as The copters circled above My God is this all done In the name of wedded love? Dear Trista was so thrilled With the copters over head Perhaps she should be in Iraq With Blackhawks instead! The minister spoke up loudly Like a Broadway thespian As I watch this farce I think I just may become a lesbian! As the vows were spoken It struck me as being so fake Like a reality show gone bad Let’s get on with it for heaven’s sake Who had the stupid idea To pour three colors of sand? Please give us a commercial Someone! Strike up the band. T-Mobile’s commercial satire Was better than the wedding I’m glad I’m they’ll stop filming Before the nuptial bedding! We’re back he said softly As Trista and Ryan take a vow Oh I thought it was over! Please someone shoot me now! I think they wanted us to cry But for once no tears I shed They needed a speechwriter I couldn’t understand what they said! Then the traditional vows spoken It took us long enough to get there! He spoke so quiet and woodenly As I thought “Ryan comb your hair!” Trista smiled through her vows Like a simpleton marionette As the copters drown out the rest They were paid for by ABC, I bet! Where is the emotion they should feel? I don’t see any on either one’s face Perhaps they saw this script in advance And plotted each word in proper place Then after they kissed each other We were transported to a sports event Everyone waved pink flags! This is the stupidest thing yet! And so we’re off to the reception I’m afraid I won’t attend I’ve really had enough so The Pepto Bismol wedding comes to an end. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Good you posted it, and this has to be heard loud and clear all over the place. Poeple are dying, starving, scared, and she had on million dollar shoes? I didn't finish watching it, but what would possess the media to do this especially at a time of year when there is so much poverty? I am furious about this show and intend to let everyone I know hear it too, and that poor Ryan! Best part was the song he wrote for her, and I liked the fire engine touch. You are right that will be copied for years to come. Amen - off my soapbox now. Oh, great poem LOL |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent commentary, PdV! From you I got all what I needed to know...that there WAS no earthly reason to turn on that show!  |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
LMAO....OMG that show was a complete waste of time, I almost feeling like asking my cable company for a credit....goooodddd poem Sharon I totally agree.... Lauren~ I would rather have one breath of his hair, one kiss of his mouth, one touch of his hand than an eternity without it. [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (12-11-2003 05:58 PM).] |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Gee, now I feel badly that I missed it! Everybody is talking about something I know nothing about. Excellent poem Sharon! Hugs~ ~ Let peace begin with me... |
||
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Well, I missed it, but don't feel lessened by the loss. That can be said about most programming these days. But by all that is right and good, PdV gave the running commentary. And knowing her, she hammered that nail right through the board and adequately summed up consensual thought on this farce. Very well done, oh Devine One! |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all...I usually cry like a baby at weddings..even of people I don't know..even on TV shows..but this one? I could only stare in disbelief (perhaps I was blinded by all things pink). Truly a gigantic display of waste! If they wanted to show their love, get married with what they could afford, make it personal...and let ABC film it. At least then it would have been something they planned! |
||
|
Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
I usually like to watch the beauty of weddings, but I never got into these reality shows. I think they are a waste of time. Guess I'll stick with NG and Dicovery. Thanks for the insite of this wedding. Sounds like I didn't miss a thing. I liked your poem though. Love Bon-Bon  |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
   (big hugggsssssss) It literally makes me angry and saddened seeing things like this over and over again, dearest friend, I know nothing about Trista and Ryan (then again, who does, they are non-celebs that became reality-TV stars, LOL!) and it literally fills me with rage to see all the money be put behind the glltz, the glamour, and never-ending seasons of VH1's The Fabulous Life Of...! (sad sigh) Meanwhile, those millions of dollars could have been used to help children in third-world nations, fund for AIDS research, funding for public schools, etc. I fear capitalism will eventually destroy the world at this rate unless it crumbles apart and this wedding has hit a new low, along with Paris Hilton and Joe Millionaire: An International Affair! (sad sigh) There, all the frustration is out, now time for a Red Bull, I have so much respect for you for speaking out your mind, thank God I am not alone on my opinions on reality-TV, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 WHAT A GREAT WRITE!I am disgusted by this, and I never even watched it! |
||
|
jord4n Junior Member
since 2003-12-12
Posts 15 |
didn't watch it, but after reading that...i feel like I have. - Jordan |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, I have to admit that I did watch it! I couldn't stop watching it!!!~ because I couldn't believe my eyes or ears!~ $1,000,000 for a pair of shoes?!? ~ and they were even hidden by her gown!!! $500,000 on flowers! OMG! So many roses lost their lives for such pomp and ceremony!  Poor Ryan, seemed totally out of his element and Trista totally ran the show! It was her wedding! ~ not theirs!Can you imagine all the good that $4,000,000 could have done for the poor and hungry children of this world. Oh, my, your poem has really got me going on this! lol I enjoy your writes. You have a wry wit!   EA |
||
|
WildPoet Member
since 2003-11-10
Posts 205California |
Well, your poem made me cry......with laughter!  Excellent, excellent WildPoet  |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I'm glad I missed the show, and that I didn't miss this poem about it! Hugs sweet lady |
||
|
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Ha! It was you that I found at another site as the resident poet. And, lookee, the magazines say those two split up already. -*-*- |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
