Little Crystal Dancer (first triolet of mine)

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Open Poetry #28

Little Crystal Dancer (first triolet of mine)

IndigoEve
Member

since 2003-01-10

Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time

0 posted 2003-08-07 07:32 PM

(This is basically a triolet, I think...minus the 8 syllable line restriction)

Little crystal dancer upon the window ledge
With blue painted eyes, alit in midday sun
Her porcelain face, cracked at its very edge
Little crystal dancer upon the window ledge
Neglect shows through-its truth she won't allege
Yet broken by despair, her heart will come undone
Little crystal dancer upon the window ledge
With blue painted eyes, alit in midday sun

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.--"Romeo and Juliet"

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

1 posted 2003-08-07 07:55 PM

Indigo, this is soooo beautiful.
I love this. And this is your first one?
Goodness, you're good!!

Hugs

Ethel

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-08-07 09:36 PM

A triolet indeed and for your first
I must say very well done indeed
It is a tough form, looks easy but
restricting and tough to get all those thoughts into this form

You have the right form Indigo
(they dont have to be metered)
this is beautiful
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (08-07-2003 09:36 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2003-08-08 06:11 AM

This needs another go-round.

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