-rained-out- - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-12-07 09:59 PM

candles have been burnt out
long before your time
you don't care
so why learn your history lessons
nice, prime, and proper you sit
like a store dummy
make-up painted on your face
thick and creamy it lies there, shining
as i know i am prettier
because i believe
the sea roars a thousand chorus
changes links with time
the shells don't mind, its a new place to visit
bluish-green the waters shown
as the sun set upon it
you wouldn't know this
didn't take the time to care
on the other hand
i know what you believe
in all the horrid things i hear
do you know what it does to people
you say you aren't pretty enough
but you know you are
its just to get attention
for your friends
so they call themselves
to tell you that you are gorgeous
and it makes me sick
why would i want to support you
you have done what
nothing, just nothing
nothing except sit and smile at the boys
drawing them in
while i repel them
but all the while i mean to
because i don't want to
i don't mean for it to happen sometimes
to be so mean
once again the sea yawns
the foam coming onto the rocks and shore
covering them like a blanket
i sit there wishing i had something
to cover me to

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

[This message has been edited by Riley (12-08-2002 01:39 PM).]

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

1 posted 2002-12-07 10:05 PM

This was beautiful!

Quote
_____________________________________________
the sea roars a thousand chorus
changes links with time
the shells don't mind, its a new place to visit
bluish-green the waters shown
as the sun set upon it
_____________________________________________

Beautiful imagery!! This poem was purely beautiful!! I am speehless!
*Allison

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

2 posted 2002-12-07 10:55 PM

Wow, very intelligently written, and the last three lines were perfect! Did you intend for the lines in italics to be read as a second poem within the larger poem?

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

3 posted 2002-12-08 11:59 AM

devinechild: Thank you very much...glad you liked it

rainbowdust: No it wasn't ment to be that. If you read the poem slowly...then they would be almost like thoughts inserted in there. It wasnt ment to be like that but it might have been...I don't know.

Thanks to all for reading

Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-12-15 03:58 AM

Riley~
I REALLY like this piece...it's beautiful.
I'd have to say it's one of my favorites of yours.
You never cease to impress me with your talent.
Very nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

5 posted 2002-12-15 11:40 AM

I thought the italics were probably thoughts inserted in there. Good job on this one, I liked how you did the ending.

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.