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Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2003-01-19 11:05 PM

Hiding in a closet
patiently waiting
little hands will
always find you
so much destruction
your sleek
you have such a history
I remember holding you
the memory of a friend
felt his body die
you created a void
in which nothing can fill it up
your body
grey, you shine with a power
it takes not much for you to be used
the death we usually find
in accompniment means nothing
anymore
small eyes
tiny fingers
they have found you
oh, what a waste of
beautiful innocence
it takes not more
then one squeeze of the fist
just a mistake
just a killer
how do we stop
what we cant control
how do help control human nature?
with an object hidden
in mommy and daddy's closet
no
don't be scared it's only
a thing
abiotic
shiny, sleek, heavy

Regina M Levy 2003

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

1 posted 2003-01-19 11:09 PM

I'm supposed to be guessing, right?

I don't want to. I feel like I'd be spoiling something. I don't know. It's kind of a rule of mine to leave things undefined. (Even if the image is right there...)

Lovely poem. I really liked it.

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (01-19-2003 11:10 PM).]

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2003-01-20 03:45 PM

I'm with her...

"Lovely poem. I really liked it."

To guess what the object is almost seems unneccessary, almost to the detriment of the force of the poem... superbly written. A rather enjoyed read.

Now, dammit, I need to go look up 'abiotic.'

Sincerely,
Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-20-2003 03:45 PM).]

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

3 posted 2003-01-20 03:46 PM

Great picture, by the way.

Haunting, enthralling eyes.

~Titus

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2003-01-22 04:44 PM

Come on you guys, it's about a gun... put some thought into it. I thought that's what it was from start to finish and the ending just confirmed it.

Loved it, Ina. Great work and thanks for taking me/Vicky's challenge.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

5 posted 2003-01-22 07:03 PM

This was great. I can't really describe what traits in this peice of art that make it thus, yet art it is. It really is a great poem!

*~Rich~*

Too strong to give up, to weak to move on....

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

6 posted 2003-01-22 08:17 PM

Ahahaha....

Now I'm like.... hmmm.... yeah, perhaps some more thought would've been good.

Now, I almost love the poem more.

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
--Aldous Huxley

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

7 posted 2003-01-23 10:53 AM

A gun? I actually thought it was about a knife but I can see where a gun would come through.

Anyway, great imagery as per usual, Regi. Loved it and hope to see you doing challenges like this a lot more often. You do them well.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

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