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Teen Poetry #6
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Pure Evil, Genuinely Good
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Pure Evil, Genuinely Good |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
Well, here is another serious piece from Stinky. I kinda like it. Enough talking..... Pure Evil, Genuinely Good I am an earthquake that destroys your sandcastle I am a butcher knife that cuts your morale in half I am a godlike thief that steals your thunder My egotism feeds my every move I am an emergency vessel, saving you from drowning in your own pity I am a firecracker of joy to lift spirits I am a horse that can carry masses from darkness to light. but my decency doesnt outway my egotism Yeah, I was trying to show the thoughts of a "bad guy" and a "good guy". After I finished, I realized that it reminded me of myself, and the ones here who know me will attest to that (hehe). -Stinky Twinkie gets his inspiration from oatmeal- [This message has been edited by Stinky Twinkie (12-26-2002 08:28 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Stinky Twinkie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I really like this one. I think that it COULD be improved in teeny tiny ways, but you have a solid foundation. "I am an earthquake that destroys your sandcastle I am a butcher knife that cuts your morale in half I am a godlike thief that steals your thunder" I really like the beginnings you've got here. "My egotism feeds my every move" I may be wrong, but I THINK it's 'egoism' not 'egotism' "I am also an emergency vessel, saving you from drowning in your own pity" If this were mine, I would have left out the "also" as this does a funky on the flow of it, ya know? "I am a firecracker of joy to lift spirits I am a horse that can carry masses from darkness to light. but my decency doesnt outway my egotism" Again, the 'egotism' thing... I do like this poem though  I'm dangerous when left alone hehehe |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
NO! My sandcastle!!! ahhh! That was a very good serious poem, I liked it. That doesn't really mean much to you tho does it? WinterWren |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
After a brief meeting with my friend The Dictionary, I have come to the conclusion that it is in fact "egotism". I took out the "also." -Stinky Twinkie- |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
Oh WinterWren, WinterWren, WinterWren. You've got it all wrong. It means the world to me. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Good, Im very happy now. *can't stop smiling* WinterWren |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
I liked this bunches...and I too would think it is egoism but I guess not... I just have one question for you... Have you actually every gotten inspiration from oatmeal? I have..I'll have to post what I came up with ;P Good one. Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
Nope, can't say that I've ever gotten inspiration from oatmeal. Perhaps I'll try it one day. -Stinky Twinkie- [This message has been edited by Stinky Twinkie (12-27-2002 12:53 AM).] |
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roxywrestlegirl04 Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74good ole DINWIDDIE |
o my, o my, o my, stinky twinkie.you have out done yourself again.  ..you have written a master peice...(as if all the others werent!) haha..this one was very good...i actually found much MEANING behind this poem... good job!  LIZ  o my what a face....this a frickin family website...HAHA!!!GOOD JOB!! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*thinks* congrats, you proved me wrong and lived to tell the tale  |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
LOL @ Rhonda. Careful..someone might thinkyou're being egoTistical..LOL. Stinky~ I REALLY like this a LOT. This is definitely one of the best pieces that I've read from you and is very possibly my new favorite. Keep up the great work...I'm enjoying reading you. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
I enjoy being egotistic. Keeps me sane. Love conquers all, so I must be in a losing battle. |
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CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
This describes the tendancy of human nature, we are both good and evil, and we continuously fight between the two Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
oatmeal eh? intertsing the poem reminded me of a song, nothing is what it seems...and by chance i am listening to it..check it out.. the poem was good the beginning started somewhat strong that slowy started unraveling...as rhonda said there could be some tine adjustments keep writing regina |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Not much to say that hasen't already been said, but I liked it, so I HAD to say something.. wait,I just did. WEll, there ya go then, I fulfilled my own prophecy. Wait, but it wasn't a prophecy until I said that, so I fullfilled it with what I wrote before it, but then I didn't fulfill it... ARGH! lol...... "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
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