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Open Poetry #21
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Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
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Lurking

0 posted 2002-07-09 05:54 PM


Satellites fall
technology fails
a silent decay

No wonder

I crash down
and lay down my head
and dream of tommorow
asleep under blue skies
and radiant sun beams

----------------------------------------
Just a quick question, does anyone think that this needs punctuation? I mean is it annoying that it doesn't have any or do you think that the meaning is lost without punctuation?

Andrew

"Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance."

Sun Tzu

© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2002-07-09 05:56 PM


I think it is fine the way it is. I like it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
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Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-07-09 05:58 PM




(smiles) Oh Andrew, I think it is just fine without punctuation, sweet friend, if you wish to empathize something or stillness it always helps to add periods yet I think this poems authenticity is golden without them! (big hugggssssss) Boy, I dream so much of the day when the technology world falls other than the Internet so we can live more peaceful and pastoral lifestyles, sweet friend, this is very well-said, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Andrew, thank you for sharing!  



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
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USA
3 posted 2002-07-09 06:03 PM


enjoy
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2002-07-09 08:43 PM


I think with free verse anything goes, it reads well just the way it is to me.  *s*

Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal.

{on the wings of words are spirits fly...and our souls are free~me}


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-07-09 08:45 PM


Love it...the way it is.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

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