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rainwashed
| Open Poetry #25 |
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rainwashed |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought 
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Furling flesh of eyes in horror Breathing insecurely Yet with steady apprehension. Trickle drip Rain drops, falling From an eerie and Uncanny hue, Of briskly tender Black on blue. The rough-wood Ground of pavement, Brings splinters To the chilled bones Cracking. Blood stained smears Were made By tears, And all together, Time still ticks. The body lies Upon the street Allowing all The grip of this To pick him up So he may stand, And smile, Through a rainwashed Frown. (don't worry, I'm not sure of the significance or meaning of this either... but it was fun to write!) - And so it was that time stood still - (blink, breathe, stand, fight) [This message has been edited by GG (02-18-2003 06:09 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Actually you really made me worry .... but then .... I just loved the vision of this half dead creature standing up "with a rainwashed frown". That's a great picture! Margherita |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I understand you perfectly. Everyone always thinks that poems are about you. But then again, they're just being nice. But I liked it. (half of all good poetry makes little sense.) the Wind is invisible. |
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Albert J. Allie Senior Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 512Queens NY |
You have wonderful talent! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Alyssa, Love the title. One of my favorite? This: "the rough-wood Ground of pavement Brings splinters To the chilled bones Cracking............" This left me cold and physically achy..brrrrrr. Only significant, I guess, if you happen to be the person! ...smiling.... I can't help but wonder though what will happen next? Perhaps that is a good thing....for a poem to do to a reader.... You are a very good poetess... enjoyed, hugs and love, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Margherita, I love to see what kind of thoughts or emotions I can get out of people, and yes I suppose this looked much like someone had just been hit by a car or some such thing. I'm glad you liked it And thanks for replying.Wind, yay! I feel understood now. But.. I can see that half of good poetry makes no sense, but I'm afraid that half of poetry that doesn't make sense isn't good *sigh* ..thanks for the kind reply Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Albert, I'm very honored, thank you much, sir Pat, I'm glad you liked it, and in wondering what comes next.. well, I want to spoil what your mind may imagine with how I came up with this write. At night, on cold nights when its raining, I sometimes go out onto my road (country type road, not many cars and you can see the ones coming for a long ways out) and (if this doesn't prove my insanity then.. well.. I'm sure there's more that can) I lay down out there, on the middle of road, and stare at the sky. So with all that, I just changed things a bit, had fun. Thank you hugs and loveAlways, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
So much opens and comes forward when we open to possibilites. I am happy to see you give free reign to your imagination and the magic that comes forth. Great job! Eric |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Eric, thank you, and you're right.. we should always keep our mind and lives open to the possibilites and oppurtunitues hidden around us. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
loved it! |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
This DOES sound very much like someone who just got hit.... starting with the eyes of horror and the breath.... like whoever it was saw it coming and just had time to gasp! Whatever the meaning here, the images are fresh, descriptive if not stark. Well done. Sherry |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Dixie, I'm glad you did! thank you Sherry, Well every time I read it, when I get to the part that says the body lies upon the street, I still quiver from it. So I guess you're right. I'm glad you find it well done and so fresh and descriptive, I'm honored, thank you Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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