»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #19
»
Sinking Stone
| Open Poetry #19 |
|
Sinking Stone |
|
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Toss my heart in, The water looks calm and still, you know it can’t swim, I'll hold on to you until Watch it sink down, you let me go it alone loveless it will just drown, you can't love this heart of stone It sits in the pool, ripples slowly die away on the bottom another fool, left to sink there to stay. Above me the water sparkles in the light, as my heart is in the mud out of sight. Gloom |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) I can feel such sadness in your words, sweet friend, I hope this is not a current feeling and now your heart is feathered by the ripples of true loves delight! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet friend, you always express yourself so honestly and wonderfully! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!   May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-28-2002 06:01 PM).] |
||
|
Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Above me the water sparkles in the light, as my heart is in the mud out of sight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Look at these words....Beautiful... |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I took a walk last week, along the tracks, you know, where I bike, needing fresh air. as I passed the railbed I noticed that many stones had the shape of hearts, well at least in my eyes they did. So I collected them all.. they are still in my gray jacket waiting for me to paint their edges so I can take a picture and write a poem about them, which if I have time I will do so later. Nice writing PG M |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Mistletoe Angel, For the kind words Thank you, Zinsser, Pleased you enjoyed. Thank you, Nakdthoughts, On the trail over water, Under bridge on the streambed For gathering; From the slow flowing water, Carried by wheels in wind the sped For your later. Very nice poetic response Gloom |
||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Oh Wow, this is most awesome. I hope that isnt your heart, of stone. Because I know better. You do not have a heart of stone gloom. You could not write like this if you did. great poem. floria Floria |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Professor Gloom- Not only did I enjoy this poem in it's obvious format, but I also enjoyed reading it in various ways. I don't know if you intended it that way or not, but it certainly added to the read. Very nicely penned, my friend.  Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Strbbux, But yes it is my heart of stone, Pleased you liked the poem. Thank you, vlraynes, Glad you enjoyed, As for the format, it’s an evolved from the Sijo The original being: Toss my heart in, you know it can’t swim, Watch it sink down, loveless it will just drown, It sits in the pool, on the bottom another fool. Which I used as an example to display expansion of thought and Idea The final version was posted, which has a similarity to a sonnet. Gloom |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
