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Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

0 posted 2003-02-25 05:11 PM

(Ok Ron, Sun, and Dunc ...
inspite of me moody muse ... the moth promised to try.)

Inspired by Capt's book submission "Death Of A Season" /pip/Forum77/HTML/000237.html
and by his poem "February And You" /pip/Forum64/HTML/000632.html

thank you once again Ron...for the stirring of muses and the gift of inspiration.

Acclimation

Perhaps it is that I am older ...
less resilient, resistant to change,
that these winters seem colder.
Winds with serrated edges
that grate bone with it's chill.

Older but no wiser, for I still seek shelter
in the solace of sanctuary that cannot
save me from myself.

And it would be so easy to explain it all
away in rhymed and versed cliches ...
to simply say that I have flown too close to
the flame one time too many.

But the truth is, I've become accustomed to the light
in your eyes, (and my reflection in them).
The truth is, the only time I have ever touched the
warm of me is when you held my hand ...
(as you already hold my heart).
The truth is I've never felt as alive as when you
looked at me across a crowded airport and smiled.
Just sitting next to you was enough to thaw a lifetime
of winter's regret.

Now seven degrees of separation change the seasons
and I resign to winter's frigid frosting of my need.
It wont take a compass to find where I left my heart back
on a beach warmed by September's promises kept.

It's not that winter has cruel intentions ...
it's just that I wont ever acclimate to the
distance of being kept from you.

~~

Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin,
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one ...
it's struggle neither wins.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (02-26-2003 02:50 PM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2003-02-25 07:40 PM

Janet, Janet, Janet.....

"It's not that winter has cruel intentions ...
it's just that I wont ever acclimate to the
distance of being kept from you."

ohhhh, you know, I know you know, this touches....

as always, you rock!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2003-02-25 07:42 PM

btw....this should be in the book, with the other two...they all go together so perfectly...(hint hint)

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2003-02-25 09:50 PM

"It wont take a compass to find where I left my heart back
on a beach warmed by September's promises kept."

The loving intention of this is real and pushed with emotive power to beautiful. You know ILIWYWLT...

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

4 posted 2003-02-25 10:31 PM

I like it, you don't...wanna wrestle for it???

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

5 posted 2003-02-25 11:35 PM

Beautifully done, JM.

I'm sure the Captain will be proud!

Sunkissed.

"I have to hurry past the moon...to Jupiter..."

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-02-26 08:20 AM

thanks guys for your reads and replies...
I appreciate you taking the time,
Susan, thanks for the "vote"

but I'm just gonna go with the two I got for the book, they are longer and may take two pages so will need the votes.
thanks all.

jm

Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin,
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one ...
it's struggle neither wins.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

7 posted 2003-02-26 01:20 PM

I love single-word titles, because it gives me the chance to see a word's definition from a personal perspective of the poet. I'm familiar with this particular word (I just wrote an earth sciences exam, go figure), but still, tried to clear my mind of knowledge so that I could allow you to offer me a definition. You did so beautifully, I'm going to think of this word differently from now on. Hope my Earth Sci mark doesn't drop if it's a final exam question.

Again I'm at these evil university computers so I'll just run through without copy/pasting. I hate doing this because when I do bother to quote you it makes my reply look so much longer... hehe...

Introduction, love it. It's like a conclusion before the reasoning, an answer offered to a question yet to be asked. I like that, it catches the interest really tight and makes me want to read on. You and your darn poetic charm, it always has me swooning over the page.

Now as you go on in the poem, your style is so free-flowing and spoken, but not to the point where technique falls off.  This is really appropriate, as the content is so deeply and directly personal... reads through as a soliloquy, almost, despite the presence of a "you" (which is more or less apostrophe).

The crowded airport image... oh man, now that one made me pause, definitely.  Just the image of a thousand people with personal destinations running around with their luggage, voices so busy that you can hardly hear anything, but across it all you exchange a simple smile, and that's enough to completely warm you... just one question, is the "crowded airport" meant to be taken literally?  I think it's a very impressive metaphor otherwise... but even if it is literal, well, still equally impressive.  My favourite line in the poem.

The ending, just, perfectly toned and executed.  Should I expect any less?  Of course I shouldn't, this is JM's poetry.

  Winter itself is not the one to blame, you seem to be saing... instead, you internalize it, the blame is on your inability to acclimate to the distance, to bundle up against the cold.  Maybe you're just too attached to the summer wear that reminds you of being happy.

The only sign of your age I ever see in your writing, other than your wisdom (which yes, you DO have, no matter what you say in line 6), is your use of seasons.  The summer gone, the winter comes... I can only remember a dozen or so season changes so they must not be too terribly significant to me, but that significance is always striking when I read your writing.  Perhaps someday I'll have my own relationship with the weather, as you do... and the coming and going of the seasons will trigger some response in my own heart.

For now, think I'm a wintery guy.  Don't know if you detected it in all the snow poems I've done, maybe so, maybe not... but we'll see what my life has to say about it all.

Thanks for summering my day, JM.  I'll need it when I'm waiting for the bus home, in the bitter cold of downtown Winnipeg.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2003-02-26 04:43 PM

So open and waiting. Awesome, Janet. I always feel like a clod after responding under Local Parasite's well-reasoned insights, as my replies are usually one-phrase impressions. Still ...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-02-26 05:43 PM

well...now Moth... you indeed have done again..what it seems you do so well.. make me sit and wonder...how does she do it... how does she write with such a flow and style..blending images and ideas until they go down smooth..like a good milk shake...not too sweet... and still... the linger of satisfaction after having swallowed..

I'm honored...that anything I might have written would inspire something such as this... I know Duncan and Sunshine and I have kind of been trying to boot your muse along..and you have certainly been a good sport about it all... thank you

Now... where is the next one? what's it going to be about?

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

10 posted 2003-02-26 06:19 PM

The next one is about how I was right and JM was wrong!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-02-27 12:02 PM

Brian...I always say you make me look better than I am

thank you so much for the in depth reply...to answer your question...
yes the airport line was based on a literal event, and yes all the winter/weather/seasons are metaphors and personifications to define an emotion.
Guess I should work for the weather channel huh?

And Im thinking its a good thing you like snow considering where you live. lol
thanks my groovy parasite pal...you are too good to me mothy muse.

Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin,
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one ...
it's struggle neither wins.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

12 posted 2003-02-27 12:03 PM

Mike.... your replies are as cool as your poetry...and trust me...I totally felt the sincerety of this one...thank you my groovy squirrel dude

Ron....how can I not be a good sport when I got such wonderful inspiration to stir this stubborn muse of mine...any kick in her poetic pants is welcome if it will jumpstart me to writing more often and more spontaneously. Again I thank you for the fuel...when I read February and You...I knew I wanted to write something to try and capture the way that poem made me feel.
thanks so much my friend...
OH and that milk shake...raspberry right?

Duncan .... AHEM.... Do you have any witnesses????

Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin,
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one ...
it's struggle neither wins.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

13 posted 2003-02-27 10:02 AM

I've been rubbing my forehead for about a day now...and, I don't mean to rob you of a reply, but wanted you know I've been here to read, and I felt every word...and I just can't distance myself emotionally for a critique Jan. tsk...and I'll stop now before the waterworks start again.

sing it for us lady.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

14 posted 2003-03-13 04:58 PM

quote:
Now seven degrees of separation change the seasons
and I resign to winter's frigid frosting of my need.
It wont take a compass to find where I left my heart back
on a beach warmed by September's promises kept.

It's not that winter has cruel intentions ...
it's just that I wont ever acclimate to the
distance of being kept from you.

~*~
I think it is because
you use simple phrasing
of thoughts
straight from the mind
that they go deep
into the soul
as intensely as any love affair
ever known to man
or woman...

this is why...you get IWIHWT from so many....

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

15 posted 2003-03-14 11:21 AM

Janet - wow. This is so breathtakingly beautiful that it actually touches this cold thing inside me called a heart. The images you've managed to conjure up with your superb choice of words really does the overall theme justice.

quote:
The truth is I've never felt as alive as when you
looked at me across a crowded airport and smiled.
Just sitting next to you was enough to thaw a lifetime
of winter's regret.

How can a person not be taken back by magic like that?

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

16 posted 2003-03-16 01:19 AM

KA, Kari and AF... thank you for your wonderful and touching replies to this...
forgive me for taking so long to come back and respond...Im tied up helping my dad move and havent had much forum time, but I couldnt let these very cool replies go unappreciated...thank you so much...this one was special and I needed to know if the words conveyed and portrayed my heart true.
thanks guys very much for your generous sharing....

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