Haiku #3 - pipTalk Forums

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Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

0 posted 2002-01-01 12:13 PM

dark violet this
landscape in stark silhouette,
twilit from behind
.....

Written for an exercise in writing a special haiku including internal rhyme:

(dark/stark... violet/silhouette/twilit?)

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-01-01 12:17 PM

Oooohhhhhh...I love it, I need to try this rhyming kind of haiku, you paint such beautiful works of art with your words! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Julie, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2002-01-01 12:20 PM

Beautifully composed Lily ... an exercise in wonderful imagery and flow, much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (01-01-2002 12:21 PM).]

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

3 posted 2002-01-01 12:23 PM

Wow, Noah.... thank you so much for such kindness!

I think YOU must certainly "take the cake" for being sweet.

:)

~Julie / "Lily"~

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

4 posted 2002-01-01 12:25 PM

Kit,

Thank you VERY much for your kind comments. I especially appreciate the mini-critique!! It's the best sort of feedback...
:)

~Julie~

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

5 posted 2002-01-01 12:47 PM

I really enjoy the visual affect of your writing.
Very nice.

Deb

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

6 posted 2002-01-01 02:10 PM

Thank you, Deb! I'm glad you enjoyed this...
:)

~Julie~

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

7 posted 2002-01-02 02:21 PM

I like it without having to look for internal rhymes

Write on.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

8 posted 2002-01-02 02:22 PM

A master weave of a timeless vision. Beautiful. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

9 posted 2002-01-02 02:48 PM

you are really good at these haikus! Can't wait to see more

RP

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

10 posted 2002-01-02 04:25 PM

Thank you all, very much, for the positive feedback!

Technically, a haiku shouldn't rhyme at all. I worried about readers pointing that out and giving me a hard time for posting these. But, as I noted when I posted, they were just a fun exercise for myself... and I wanted to share 'em. :)

Again, I appreciate all of you taking time to read and comment!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~Julie~

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

11 posted 2002-01-03 05:17 PM

Also see
Haiku #2: /pip/Forum53/HTML/000036.html
Haiku #1: /pip/Forum53/HTML/000034.html

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

12 posted 2002-01-03 11:17 PM

and this is fun to read...

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