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Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

0 posted 2001-08-16 12:05 PM

Everyone has a Mercyless fate,
Waiting to see if God's going to blow the gate.
Living in the ashes of Dreamless Ruins,
And what I have is Stolen Fate.
Look into The Eyes Of A Dragon,
Sending Bloody Kisses From Me To You.
With a Dark Angel Haunting You,
You better fear the Dragon.
Then Look Into The Eyes Of The Unseen Angel,
Know your own fate.
Cause True Enemy Lies Killing In The Highrise,
Walk thru the darkness of an empty soul.
See right thru it and set forth it's goal,
Everyone has a Mercyless fate.

Only darkness falls on those without souls

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-08-16 12:10 PM

This was pretty good. Not the best I've read from you, but pretty good. I liked the repetition of the first and last lines.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

2 posted 2001-08-16 12:12 PM

well thanks, im not realy out to make somthin good but if i ends up bein good then its like cool if not oh well its just the moods im in when i write or my views on things, but thanks i appreciate the honesty

Only darkness falls on those without souls

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

3 posted 2001-08-16 02:41 PM

I believe this is the first poem I've read from you...although my memory is now obsolete. hah.
This wasn't bad at all. Your rhyming was well done. The flow was a bit off though, so it made it hard to read. Other than that, it was good. Till next time.

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

4 posted 2001-08-16 07:23 PM

i thought it was good and interesting

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

5 posted 2001-08-16 09:31 PM

thanks guys i appreciate it :O

Only darkness falls on those without souls

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-08-17 06:46 PM

Kyle- I really really liked this! I thought it was very creative of you to start alot of the words with a capital letter. Thanks for the read!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-08-20 10:41 PM

Wow.. very powerful poem here. The whole idea was creative.. I enjoyed it. I liked the whole dark and mysterious tone of the poem. The way you began many words with capital letters was creative, and put emphasis on those words. I liked that.. nicely done. I hope to see more soon..

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

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