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chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-01 02:59 PM

When silent dreams seem out of place
When hope is far away
I stumble in the dark and cold
I have lost my way.

When single beams of light become
So dim and rare to see
And all around is quiet dread
Waiting and watching me.

Take me away
To the Garden of Eden
So I may taste the sweet salt
Of this life I bare.
It calms me
To feel this light surround me.

When lips attract the frost of night
The land seems hard and bare
And lesser lights of moon do glow
And lights the darkness' lair.

When golden leaves do fall away
And arrows pierce the heart
When quiv'rin willows calm the night
Yet it is only art.

When stars and clouds seem out of reach
The sun goes down in red
I find my mind, my soul, the light
And then I find me dead...

Take me away
To the Garden of Eden
So I may taste the sweet salt
Of this life I bare.
It calms me
To feel this light surround me.

=====
This is NOT about suicide.

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-01-2001).]

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

1 posted 2001-08-01 03:03 PM

That was great but I couldn't read the yellow or orange writing, it was too bright so I highlighted the wording to make it darker

I really enjoyed this poem but my eyes now hate you lol, im just kidding.

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
~Steven Wright

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2001-08-01 05:31 PM

This was good. again very good imagery Leah. keep writing,.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-08-01 06:27 PM

The 2nd, 5th, and 6th stanza reallky stood out for me. I loved those ones. The ending of each one I think is what blew me over. HeHe. I liked this alot! More I say, MORE!

thedragonthomas
Junior Member

since 2001-07-30

Posts 15

4 posted 2001-08-01 06:37 PM

very nice, i thought of a rebirth type thing when i read this poem, like a new awakening, or revelation. well i may be reading into it too much. well nice work as usual! bye bye

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

5 posted 2001-08-02 02:54 AM

This was really good. I loved the ending. Excellent write here!
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

6 posted 2001-08-02 09:11 AM

Hey,

Leah, this must be my favorite poem of yours. I really enjoyed this one, so much so that I am putting it in my library. Thank you for the wonderful read and until your next masterpeice

-- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

7 posted 2001-08-02 02:54 PM

this is really good... that's all i can think of to say since my brain is dead, i'm sorry.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-08-03 06:06 PM

Well done here! I really liked this one a lot. Greatly written.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-08-03 06:09 PM

"When silent dreams seem out of place
When hope is far away
I stumble in the dark and cold
I have lost my way"

"When single beams of light become
So dim and rare to see
And all around is quiet dread
Waiting and watching me."

"When stars and clouds seem out of reach
The sun goes down in red
I find my mind, my soul, the light
And then I find me dead..."

awesome, Leah...the whole poem had sO much beauty..wihin the darkest emotions.

"if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry-

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

10 posted 2001-08-04 06:57 PM

VERY beautiful words...

"Take me away
To the Garden of Eden
So I may taste the sweet salt
Of this life I bare.
It calms me
To feel this light surround me."

I loved that stanza. I really enjoyed this poem... Very deep words. I had to read it a few times over to capture the depth. Dark poetry has come from you lately.. I hope all is well

Nicely done, here. I REALLY liked this.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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