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.....?/ [angelic pandemonium] IV-thousandth
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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.....?/ [angelic pandemonium] IV-thousandth |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
Note: delve...in order to comprehend... The abstracted, God and mortal compassion Halo in decadence... Angels that must die Scarce attempt To make-believe; ...Angels don’t cry. Virtue no more, when Misery impostures… The spiritless spirits To gates of death; Crying angels desire to Escape incarnation was n’t Inveterate Never aware with such entity, Called: enjoyment. Dismayed from neighboring Expiration date “................................................... ....................................................” Stained streams. Stained orange. Pale lips on purple complexion... White rifting of gathered cold hands. Unutterable language, the tongue Speaking God. Everlasting discourse with bloody eyes Savored by moral suicide. Mortals wanting to live Scarce attempt To make-believe; ...Mortals do smile. Effete halo molted in crimson Screaming angels under imploration, Demented wings withdrawn... Within a sanctuary of the...Fallen. [angelic pandemonium] Hey...#25437 What! You in there? Yea, im in here. ok [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 12-08-2001).] |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wowsers, sunshine!!! You are...just completely and utterly amazing. Now my interpretation of this is probably going to be way off but you and I usually connect pretty well on these sorts of things so here I go! The poem itself has two different currents running through it thus the italic writing and standard writing. The reference to angels is about a lighter side to you. They can't escape what they are but still attempt to reach for something attainable. The standard writing is the higher voice above you. I'm trying to figure out if this is your mind or your sense of religion talking but either way, this lines the road for where you are meant to be going. "Stained streams. Stained orange. Pale lips on purple complexion..." Someone has died there. Someone killed themself and I am pretty sure that this is a part of you that has died. You have been killed by the pretense of societies rules and obligations, crowded by the mortals that you think smile. You're saying that everyone lives under attempts to free themselves and you in this case found an exit through death. That's what I got out of it. Bear in mind I haven't been able to read any sort of poetry like this for a while so I may be a tad rusty. Either way, what is in it that I can see is of true beauty because everything you write speaks truth and comes from your soul, not your mind. Take care buddy and I'll speak with you soon. ~AF~ Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Albert: I have to admit, I've never read anything more complex in my entire life...you even beat the physics textbook. ^^ I had to read it three times...once to comprehend, twice for the pure enjoyment. ^_^ And I'll read it yet once again...in my library. ^_^ Congrats on the four thousandth ^_^! Now, about your poem: This is a hauntingly beautiful piece, more so at the end. The first time I read it, I just sat back and stared. I'm in awe, Alby, I really am. But somehow, this praise feels empty, because no matter how much I love it, there is always something behind that hides itself from being shown. A part of you, perhaps? I can't be entirely sure. What have you done to your soul? God bless you, Alby. Let me know when you post another poem. We are coming to an end... ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
*BUMP* More people should see this work of art!  "Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 *chokes* im compleately speechless! WOW! WOW! oh man...WOW!!..ill come back when the words come back into my head....WOW! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Wonderful writing... glad to have read this... just wondering about the effect if "Fallen" had indeed fallen into a line of its own after the ellipsis ... Regards and thanks for sharing, Sudhir |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
how i have missed this for four days is beyond me, such beautiful writing deserves more replies. this is a very profeesional piece, and one that took my entire concentration all four times i read it  ive missed your work, you did an incredible job on this.Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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[Ice Box] Junior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 21Canada |
Anonymous Albert First of all, I apologize for missing this one. But I'm glad you found it for me again, seeing as though I missed something so rich in beauty and conception. *Jingle* This piece almost seems like a mortal combat between a belief and a rebellion. I thought this only in the beginning. I could be wrong, but that is just my view. "The abstracted" reminded me of complexity, almost confusion. Again, this kind of sprouted the idea of the whole rebellion belief thing, almost as if one is unsure what to believe. "Angels don't cry" held some kind of significance. It stood out to me, almost like a fact, but behind that, it connotes something else...deeper. Almost as if mortals are not fit to be perfection...pure, devine, and therefore must cry. "Virtue no more, when misery impostures…The spiritless spirits to gates of death". Well said. It's true in how misery can take over those who do not have a spirit, or, if you will, a soul. It's almost like misery is used to fill the void that spirituality has ceased to grow. "Crying angels desire to escape incarnation wasn’t inveterate." This here confused me a bit. Before, you said angels don't cry, yet here...they do. Perhaps my conception is wrong then? Ah, but that's the enjoyment of reading poetry... I'm going to have to cut this short a bit, since I'm on my way out, but here goes for the rest: After the repeated ellipses, you go into what seems to be a rainbow of colours. Almost like death, as if once you are dead, you can speak to God. You've got me thinking now... "Mortals wanting to live scarce attempt to make-believe; Mortals do smile." This mirrors the beginning...a good way to come to an end. Here, again, I get this sense that we, as mankind, think of religion as some kind of pretend game. I got this impression that we're too busy with our own breath that what we don't bother thinking of our next breath to come in the next life...sorry if that made absobablootly no sense, but I'm in a rush. Heh. *See what I mean?* "Screaming angels under imploration,demented wings withdrawn...within a sanctuary of the...Fallen." This...now this is one of those hellish type of scariness underneath all of that. Like Hell. My God, boy...what did you do to the poor angels? *heh* So, is this almost like the consequences of those who do not "make-believe"? It seems that way. Those who believe they are more pure than others are actually the ones who have fallen... Well, that is it, Mr.Albert. I'm on my way. Thank you for a splendid read. Very thought provoking in every sense. I am impressed. And congrats on the 4000th! I still have a long way to go. *grin* *Jingle*[Ice Box] Bleak. |
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