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quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2001-10-23 01:01 AM

I

Motionless breeze
whips through,
tears apart,
inside
what was
not
a very
wholesome
love
for me.

II

Standing.
Deafening silence,
gripping
the railing,
break the
glass
with my
heartbeat.
Doesn’t stop
soon enough.

III

Mortal fascination
stole me.
I can hear the sirens already.

IV

I gave plenty of clues.
you never woke up
to realise
that
this is
all your fault.

V

My grip loosens.
I fly.
Too late.
So Sorry.

--- pure expression. this is not foreshadowing in any way whatsoever. ---

- jen

so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-10-23 02:25 AM

awesome poetry jen, it may not be foreshadowing for you but i can certainly relate to it. you cant wait around for that one person forever. hearts do grow distant as time passes...

                            f t e
       wave           a     ...r     emotions crash in the reef of life
                 w    e

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2001-10-23 09:21 AM

Wow. Awesome emotions. I liked this.

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

3 posted 2001-10-23 10:19 AM

I like it a lot!

Charisma

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2001-10-23 05:05 PM

Once again! Your poetry rocks!! Keep it up!

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

Zukene_Chic
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 152
Cali

5 posted 2001-10-23 11:36 PM

Oh, my goodness! That was... wow! I mean, really...~*~WOW~*~!!!! Great write, I loved it!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2001-10-24 07:59 AM

Really good!! Full of emotions...wonderful job

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

7 posted 2001-10-24 05:14 PM

I liked this a lot, good job

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

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