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Teen Poetry #5
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Esoteric Scorn
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Esoteric Scorn |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
My heart is shedding your love the tears condensed in my lungs sleeping time is over, dying time is done, your sword has frozen, the years have turned away, the memories have died threw time, life has forgotten their dying babies, crying on the streets dying in your eyes, living in your minds, glowing inspiration has faded lost & turned to gray The void must be filled with the sands of time so that the shadow will be unliftable, a disease that's uncurable. You may never notice my esoteric scorn. This one sucks a little. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carlos Machado - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Zukene_Chic Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 152Cali |
I like it. In all honesty, it really doesnt suck. The gothic-touch is really nice. |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well, you're right, it doesn't suck but what I meant its that I don't like it that much. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
We usually criticize our own work more than others I though it was really impressive you do have a way with words thanks for sharing hi Sweets  , Lizzy  , Jesa  , Ina  , Allysa  , Marie  , Cherish  , Jenn  , Minna  , Chelsea  , Leah  , Kimmie  , Ashley  , Smurfy  , Alexia  , Kamie  , Kari  , Nan  , Sea  , Javi  , Zu  , Lml  , Albertia  , Linc  , Jesse  , |
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rolly_polly Junior Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 41puerto rico |
Hey Carlos! Thanx for sharing this poem with us, i thought it was great!..i love the choice of words  ..and NO you don't suck!! ~parallel universe~ |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmm... this one was different, yes, but it doesn't suck. I think that we see so much happy stuff around here and so much stuff about love, that anything different is looked on (by the people who write it) as something that's not as good. But it IS good, and it's very cool! It takes more work to love myself than to love others... I guess that explains it, eh? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very well done. One can often be the harshest critic of his poetry, so don't be too down on yourself about this one. It's not the best i've read, but very well done anyhow. You have a way with words. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wooooooooooo! i liked this one a lot actually, the title caught my eye, but i dont think it fit in well with the end of the poem*shrugs* thats just me..loved the imagery within this piece you did a VERY good job of that i must say. keep writing poet...
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This one definately doesnt suck...i think it portrayed reality and spoke the truth...how could that ever suck?? Great job hun...keep em comin ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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