navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Waiting for you" [first post since my "long", poetic absence from PIP]
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Waiting for you" [first post since my "long", poetic absence from PIP] Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-10-11 10:19 PM


The hands that once held this pencil
Now clasp your hands within its
Warmth, now embracing
Skin to skin and
Tone to tone.
The pencil once wrote of a long lost
Love, now erased, yet creased
And embedded within the
Soul of paper
Constantly.
And from that mark, made of graphite lost
Burned paper within a single
Flame of fire that
Once was nothing
Upon a wooden frame
Ignited bright,
Enflamed the sky.
But now, ashes to ashes, dust to
Dust, blown by the slightly
Vacant wind of your
Wandering breath, brushed by the
Hands now clasped in mine,
I hear your ethreal voice waft silently within the trees
That listen as I longingly wait for you.


+ + + + +
I'm back for a while. No, not a single existence of a visit. Perhaps twice that. ^^
I tried something new...run-on sentences everywhere, I know, but rather have punctuation and verse breaks everywhere, why not let you read it how you think it should be read? Give a little freedom, yes? I personally think that the run-on sentences gives it more fluid motion, rather than the other freeverse I [once] did.
I also must apologize for my lack of...being. Existence isn't something handled easily. ^_^
One last thing before I pass out: I wouldn't mind getting to know some more people here at pip, so feel free to email me or im on msn, AIM [Minkaimadae], or ICQ. I'll be around.
Enough of me.
*checks watch*...*passes out* x_X

++ Leah ++

ps- if anyone has a suggestion for a title, it would be much appreciated. ^^ Thank ya.


Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 10-12-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2001-10-11 10:41 PM


Wow, I really like this one! You're right about the format... really works with this one! My email is
spacebear_15@hotmail.com

If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
2 posted 2001-10-12 10:20 AM


It's nice to see you posting again and its good to have u back?? Where did you go!? I missed reading ur poems, i always loved them. N e wayz im glad to see you posting again and once again ur poem was great! Nice job and keep em comin!
anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-10-12 05:52 PM


LOVEd this piece...the way its written which was very creative of you...the whole images and man, everything i totally enjoyed...and you dont have to wait, arent i right here?..HaHa. you take care, Sabine..



[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 10-12-2001).]

Knight of Secrecy
Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-10-14 12:40 PM


Very cool poem, I can relate to this,
Well Done.

silvrduck
Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146

5 posted 2001-10-14 12:43 PM


Beautiful Poem. I really enjoyed this one.. thanks for posting it  

Sarah
(btw, welcome back!)

*the chains which once held us are only the chains which we've made*
~jewel

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-10-19 03:05 AM


Ah Leah, you never lose that touch of yours.  
I love this. I can connect with it quite a bit and you've done an excellent job on the imagery.

Thanks for sharing. I look forward to more.

~AF~

"I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you"
Nelly Furtado - On the radio

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
7 posted 2001-10-19 07:44 AM


Welcome back, and I like this piece, and I'm looking forward to read some more of you.

Charisma

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
8 posted 2001-10-19 10:23 AM


Welcome back!! I know how those poetic absences go....had a few myself  but neways, this was beautiful..lots of depth. goin to my library!

*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
9 posted 2001-10-20 12:05 PM


THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!! Great write!!  
Library!!!!!

           -Dreys

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
10 posted 2001-10-21 12:22 PM


Nice to have poetry like yours back.
Yes, the run-on lines do suit this piece very nicely.  It was a great read.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-11-05 09:38 AM


I've ran out of things to say  
You already know how I feel about it
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Waiting for you" [first post since my "long", poetic absence from PIP]

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary