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Teen Poetry #5
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NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA

0 posted 2001-10-01 10:44 PM


Meh... im sure this write isn't very good... i wrote it up in attempt at something else- but since most people like my work then i myself do, i thought id post it.

Together

Through the night
Glistened so bright
The moon of light

Through the night
Shined that love
Shown from above

Through the night
Will i fight
For the one i care

Through the night
With all our might
Will we remain together

Now and forever,
Will we remain together

                     -Nathan

[This message has been edited by NathanS (edited 10-03-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 NathanS - All Rights Reserved
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2001-10-02 06:29 PM


You shown your emotions really well
very sweet and assuring
thanks for sharing
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
2 posted 2001-10-03 07:58 PM


Actually I think this is pretty good, but could I suggest changing "stick" to "remain" or something of the sort? I don't know why, just thought it might sound better, who knows.  
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
3 posted 2001-10-03 10:03 PM


I dunno, I liked this one alot, I'm considering sending it to someone.  It's just fine the way it is.
NathanS
Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA
4 posted 2001-10-03 10:09 PM


Thanks for the advice on the "stick" to "remain" - as you can see i took that into concideration.
As for the person that wants to send it to a friend, feel free to. What good is poetry if it can only be read and never distributed?
Enjoy  

              -Nathan

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