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Teen Poetry #5
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NathanS
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since 2001-09-27
Posts 106
CA

0 posted 2001-09-30 01:41 PM


Well, this is kind of a poem and kind of a song. I haven't decided witch, so right now im calling it a poeng    Ah well, hope you like it anyways.

Our eyes met
Yet I wouldn't depart
You touched my hand
It lifted my heart

The sky’s went high
Days turning clear
You dug through my heart
Perhaps so sin seer

You were suddenly so distant
Your image was faint
I started loosing track
It was absurd

I refused to forget, only forgive
I gave you what I had
The feelings of my time
But for you
It was worth for little then a dime

Obstacles in my path
Illusions of the day
You were to good to me
I couldn’t let you slip away

            -Nathan
p.s. can anyone tell me how to edit my profile...?


© Copyright 2001 NathanS - All Rights Reserved
Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
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1 posted 2001-09-30 04:00 PM


I like this, it sounds as if it'd be a cool song. "Sin seer" bothers me tho... did you mean sincere? Or was it on purpose? LOL Sorry, that just caught my eye. To edit your profile go to the member's area/help. Then to Change Profile.  
Keep it up.

Jenn

"You've got to get yourself together, you got stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it."

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-09-30 05:20 PM


I guess Jenn pointed out the wrong spelling part of it already.  But still, it's a very romantic and expressive poem/song.  I thanks you for sharing and would love to see more of your work in the near future.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
3 posted 2001-09-30 11:48 PM


This could be a really cool song I loved it keep up the awsome work.
  Lauren

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-10-01 11:07 AM


I think this would make a catchy song...hmm...i like!!!!!! heheheh  
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-10-14 10:47 PM


Song, Poem...Who cares! It was wonderful!
Loved the flow, the rhyming was an excellent touch.  

Zukene_Chic
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 152
Cali
6 posted 2001-10-14 10:47 PM


oh! how sweet!
Honey
Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada
7 posted 2001-10-15 12:58 PM


Awesome job hun!! Your a great writer, keep 'em coming and always  SMILE!

It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In.

Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
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Riding
8 posted 2001-10-18 09:49 PM


I like. It's great! All your work is great! I love your work!

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

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