»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Awakening of Death
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Awakening of Death |
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Another one of my...sad, dark poems... Awakening of Death- As the winds howls across the pavement, Leaves dance about in an eerie blunder. My perfect world reforms to shadow. Decimated, my happiness bleeds from me... Each drop, more valuable than the last. No longer amongst the living...I'm gone. My ghostly spirit wanders the darkened world. It's looking...searching. Looking for a place to die. Or am I still alive? Am I the one searching? They say all is answered at death... I pray for the day that I'll wake up, The day that I'll wake up from this Hellish nightmare... But, yet again, to my dismay...this isn't a nightmare... It's what they call life... ------- Blunder- The move without guidance There's no point in living, if you can't feel alive! |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked it...but something lacked...the powerful within tis piece...the thoughts are well done...but not fully somewhat expressed...enjoyed it lots ,though...buh bye  if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This one was nice. I know how it is to be thinking about death. It has ran through my mind more than once in my life. Good job on the poem Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
||
|
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
A nice eerie feel to this...kinda Poe-ish, in a way. Good work Alex. -Adam Of all the things that I confess, |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
oooh ohh..i disagree with alberta..this had sultry, dark undertones to it that went really well with the imagery within the poem. i thought you did yourself a good job of this one alex. i enjoyed this one muchly. thanks for sharing! S |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Alex, very cool piece. You did a really good comparison between life and the idea of death in this. "It's looking...searching. Looking for a place to die. Or am I still alive? Am I the one searching? They say all is answered at death..." They say but is it true? Hell, if you knocked at deaths door and said, 'Give me an answer, damnit!' What do you think would happen? I like this piece for unexplainable reasons. You've done a good job with this.  ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hey thanks y'all! Especially you, Cherish! I 'cherish' you all! Lol |
||
|
Poet Unknown Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 140Missouri |
it was good i like it, but like albert said its lackin somthin like more expression but its good nontheless Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Your poem was very good. Had a nice feel to it. The description of the setting was awesome. The vocabulary was intersting. Perhaps a little more strength in the stanzas. The flow was done well. The image project was very profound. SO keep writing! Regina PS...I hope your not offended with my opinon |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
No offense taken! Don't worry! |
||
|
MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
woo, the ending surprised me. I know what you mean, though. *TiMMYBoY* |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
