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Open Poetry #14
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Sharon
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 53
Within a whisper

0 posted 2001-06-13 07:53 PM




canard connects
to untruth

thinnest pretense melds into alibi

slowly woven
until a reality

and thus begins the spider's lie

softly delicate
in its beauty

it sparkles gaily in morning light

but in the dark
of midnight moon

the weave takes on a sudden fright

caught within
          the puzzle spun
tis said the fly
          was all undone
the spider laughing
           crawled away
to another victim
           another day


© Copyright 2001 Sharon - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2001-06-13 08:53 PM


very excellent writing....
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-06-13 09:03 PM


absolutely superb...a new way of saying the 'tangled web we weave'

Yes, excellent!

Watersign6
Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823
Hurricane,WV
3 posted 2001-06-13 09:27 PM


i enjoyed this one very much  
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2001-06-13 10:00 PM


Superb images, Sharon...I truly enjoyed this...great write!

sp  

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
5 posted 2001-06-13 10:26 PM


Very creative, Sharon, you sure have a talent there! Loved this.

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-06-13 10:32 PM


Sharon~
Extremely well written.
Welcome to Passions.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2001-06-13 11:07 PM


caught within
                                   the puzzle spun
                         tis said the fly
                                   was all undone
                         the spider laughing
                                    crawled away
                         to another victim
                                    another day

Wow, this is excellent writing
Loved it  

Maree

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
8 posted 2001-06-13 11:16 PM


Superbly woven piece. Well done...
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

9 posted 2001-06-13 11:56 PM


Excellent write...enjoyed!
kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
10 posted 2001-06-14 01:02 PM


Lovely image here. Nicely written

--------------
You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
and show the world all the love in your heart
Then people are gonna treat

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
11 posted 2001-06-14 01:05 PM


Intricately spun verse. Well done!
Passions Voice
Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 291
Michigan
12 posted 2001-06-14 01:36 PM


I really liked the way you used the words here to play off of each other.

Great job.

passion is life. . . ~Diana


Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

13 posted 2001-06-14 01:47 PM


Interesting weave...thank you!
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2001-06-14 09:33 PM


now, this is very different. . . it does remind me of that web. . .

great job, and welcome!!!  hope to see more from you. . .  

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
15 posted 2001-06-15 06:57 AM


Ah yes, "Said the spider to the fly".... This is the work of a fine poetess...
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
16 posted 2001-06-15 08:25 AM


yeah! great work Sharon...

enjoyed reading this one...

regards,
Sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

17 posted 2001-06-15 04:15 PM


I loved this! The construction of it and the rhythm and the message all fit together perfectly! Well done!  
Sharon
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 53
Within a whisper
18 posted 2001-06-15 07:05 PM


Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I sincerely appreciate them.
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