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Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-04-10 08:47 PM

Wake Me Before I Fall (rewrite)

Soundly sleeping,
I listened with my heart
at first light
to a muted call of desire.

Far and away it ebbed,
then closer
‘til my breast warmed.

Hearken not to this embrace,
my fear insisted,
lost down travesty you’ll slide
and any turn might wrench
the safety of this warm place
where dwelling is forever.

My ancient tear was new again
and patterned by a great regret
that trod in memories darkest den
and pulled forth light.

Oh sleep me quiet still,
I say across the chasm,
though heaving with abandon.
Let me stay your breath, for wisdom,
or let me drown in profound bliss,
so wept by tears.

I am too open for this call,
to drawn to break and blunder.
A poison like the honeyed vision
of you lit and longing for me
stakes my heart into this pillow.

Wake me love for I am lost
and dreams are daring me,
fast hold my wealth
inside your heart light,
kiss me open onto your dear
and gentle listen,
dispel that lover’s insistent sigh.

Wake me before I fall.

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 04-10-2001).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-04-10 09:20 PM

I wish I wrote this , it's beautiful Martie

SEA

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

2 posted 2001-04-10 09:22 PM

Martie,

This is not like your usual writing. I found it interesting, though sad. I'd like to see more like this, my friend.

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

3 posted 2001-04-10 09:57 PM

Wow, Martie, this is awesome, imagery-packed writing!~

Take care,
Melissa~

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

4 posted 2001-04-10 10:00 PM

Wonderful Martie. Brings up images for me, which probably aren't the ones you had, but it is an ispired poem. Joyce

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2001-04-10 10:24 PM

Martie! This is wonderful!...and when I dream, all I want to do is fly....

how diverse we are - how close we are to our dreams!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-04-10 11:47 PM

My ancient tear was new again
and patterned by a great regret
that trod in memories darkest den
and pulled forth light.

Oh sleep me quiet still,
I say across the chasm,
though heaving with abandon.
Let me stay your breath, for wisdom,
or let me drown in profound bliss,
so wept by tears.

I am too open for this call,
to drawn to break and blunder.
A poison like the honeyed vision
of you lit and longing for me
stakes my heart into this pillow.

Wake me love for I am lost
and dreams are daring me,
fast hold my wealth
inside your heart light,
kiss me open onto your dear
and gentle listen,
dispel that lover’s insistent sigh.

Wake me before I fall.
===================
oh this is sooo coool...
yes, a different style for you...
but it reads effortless as if you always write this way....a
and the vocabulary and phrasing is marvelous..
and of course the imagery is impressive as always ......

"Oh sleep me quiet still,
I say across the chasm,
though heaving with abandon.
Let me stay your breath, for wisdom,
or let me drown in profound bliss,
so wept by tears."

this is so cool...
has a Poe-ish,Shakesp,Bysshe Shelly,--feel to it...
A classic in the making

and a keeper for me..

baby, dont you work so hard for this prize you found ...
it will all be gone when you turn around ...
cuz, nothing lasts forever anyway ...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2001-04-11 03:21 AM

Enjoyed reading this Martie...James

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2001-04-11 07:22 AM

Martie~
What a soulfully re-written piece.
I recall the other version and this is really a good edit.

You are pretty awesome, lady.
Love n' hugs~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2001-04-11 01:45 PM

Sea--It's a high compliment, your wish...thank you.

Michael--I like to do interesting, but I'm not sad too often...just how I feel...hope that will do.

Melissa--Thank you for such a nice reply...I appreciate it.

Joyce--Glad that it brought you images...of any kind.

Karilea--When I fly...I always fall...

Janet--thanks for the smile.

James--I'm glad you enjoyed ...thanks

Marge--Thanks so much for remembering...like you always do.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

10 posted 2001-04-11 06:52 PM

I hate when I dream about falling. . . it feels like you hit the bed. . .and it wakes you up. . . *sigh*. . .

excellent Martie. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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