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Dark Poetry #3
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Leaving Shadow
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Leaving Shadow |
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angelbear Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139North East, USA |
Posted first on General forum..think it is more appropriate for this one.. The night is filled with you your sweet neco-wafer words, a fatherly grin, sented in licorice. I am silent as I wonder on what adverture do we embark? A wimper from the back of the dodge station wagon, faithful and srong, signals shadow, the dog, is hungry. I look at my sister with wonder. We both dare not speak; tonight Daddy's mood is unreadable, silence serves us best. On a dark road we stop. How do we hide the trembling, as we wonder what comes next? I kick my sister, who has made a sound. We learn that we have not been sufficiant caretakers to our dog; Neco-wafer breath Daddy tells us so. We have failed shadow, our beloved Dog. He takes the puppy from the back, he is gentle at times, as if chosen by God. The puppy licks his face with love. Daddy kisses shadow and leaves him alone, confused, loyal on a deserted street, twenty miles from our home. We turn to see shadow's eyes fill with fear as he is abondened by those he has come to love, knowing forever, it is our fault. I can't control my destiny I trust my soul, my only goal is just to "be" -Lyrics from RENT [This message has been edited by angelbear (edited 05-27-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poni Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 21Nebraska |
sadness so well weaved! enjoyed! |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Awe this is so sad--makes me think of the animals I have lost  -- Great work--moved me--<3 LOVE ELMO |
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allis4angel Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82Portugal |
When you play words this way it's so beautiful even so sad. Very nice (the poem). |
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BitterSmoke Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 54 |
I respect the art, however what is clearly case of poor citizenship on the side of the father ought not be romanticised. |
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angelbear Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139North East, USA |
Bitter Smoke,,,thanks so much for that response. I should work on conveying my intent. This poem was trying to be about much more than poor citizenship. The terror of the puppy and the abuse of the children in this true reconstruction of a past event is an attempt to show a very sick abusive Father though the eyes of children, who are conflicted with how they are supposed to see Daddy and how Daddy really is. I must work on conveying this because I certainly didn't intend to romanticize abandoning a dog, let alone childhood abuse.  I can't control |
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BitterSmoke Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 54 |
I'm a guy from virginia that smokes too many cigarettes, don't worry so much about my impressions. Keep on keeping on -BitterSmoke |
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