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Dark Poetry #3
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The Secound
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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The Secound |
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Neala Member
since 1999-08-21
Posts 262Florida, USA 
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Sorry I havn't been here in a while it just took me a while to bring myself to write again. ------------------------------------------------There is this passion we share Evey secound we are togather It becomes harder and harder to leave I wanna just be with you forever I want to give into your temptation But you and I are so wonderful I don't wanna give in to soon I wanna hold it all in untill the time is right Till the secound I know you'll always be by my side -Neala (Goddess of Sadness) |
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| © Copyright 2001 Rachel Parrish - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jeremy Redinger Junior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 46 |
Theres a bitterness in your words... That wrenching feeling of want and need, and the pain if ignorance. You want so much to share an experience with the person you love, but even more you want to know and be sure that that person loves you, and that they will always. That's my take on your poem anyway; I enjoyed it, and it is very good. I look forward to reading more. |
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
There is a simple truth in your poem. Nothing precious should be given easily. *thanx*   [This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 02-27-2001).] |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome back Neala, been wondering where you were!! Such sadness in this piece, I pray for the day you write a truly joyful piece in Passions, there is much more to life than sadness my Goddess sister...  Isis *War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!* ~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very wise if you have the patience and ability to wait until the time is right...James |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
Neala ... saying from what's in your heart has always been the mark of a true poet and you are doing that well here ... if i may make a suggestion (as i see you encourage constructive critiques), if you are composing in a word procssor program, try using the spell checker ... everyone makes mistakes and even spell checkers aren't perfect, but they do work to a point and proper spelling just makes what is coming from your heart so much easier for the reader to absorb. |
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