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firejerm
Member

since 2000-06-13

Posts 217
Springfield, OH, good ol USA

0 posted 2001-01-31 08:21 PM

Post edited due to content inappropriate for Passions in Poetry

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

1 posted 2001-01-31 09:00 PM

This is so powerful... very moving, very distraught

Carman

Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member

since 2000-03-21

Posts 680
Kansas

2 posted 2001-02-01 12:12 PM

This is such a sad story/poem! But yet there are so many people out there that just need a lil support to help them through the difficult times. Yet when they reach out their hand...... they grasp only air. Wouldnt it be nice to help all the people that needed help up after a fall? I understand that is impossible, but we can each do our part with the people close to us. Nice subject, Jeremy, yet very sad.

DkW

Baby G
Junior Member

since 2001-01-28

Posts 39
Australia

3 posted 2001-02-01 12:55 PM

This poem kept my attention until the very end...it was so very sad, but a fantasic write.

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)

4 posted 2001-02-01 07:43 PM

this was very good and very sad,well done. It was powerful as metioned above,and you did very well expressing it.

sam

Do i contradict myself?Very well i contradict myself.I contain multitudes.~walt whitman

laryalee
Member

since 2000-06-19

Posts 352
Alberta, Canada

5 posted 2001-02-01 07:51 PM

A sad and moving portrayal - another candle flickering out...I know it happens far too often - and many of us have been close to this situation with someone we love - or in our own lives. It's very stirring - Thank you!
Lary

Scarlet Lady
Member

since 2000-02-11

Posts 242
Midwest

6 posted 2001-02-03 11:08 PM

"How much close to death can she get?"

Wow....what a totally  awesome expression here, written as though YOU  were truly "HER"!
How do I know?  I have been HER so many times,  in so many ways.

"Never has she felt so alone.
Curtains dance in the midnight air
She reached out but no one was there,......
Weariness consumes her entire mind."

Again.....expressed as if YOU had stepped into "HER" shoes.  That is a special gift!  To express that sort of emotion/experience in poetry that is.   I hope you realize that and know how much it reaches to those who have been there and done that! Thank you for the gift! It was spectacular!

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