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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-06-27 12:48 PM

Red sunrise stalls.
Extinguish silhouette.
Ardent winds rise up.
Dropping their black frost.

All light has frozen up.
Nulling veil of sky.
Vermillion coalshot blue.
Ridding itself of sight.

I don't know why.
Light has left --
left our life.

Oblong cracked horizon.
Radiating still atoms.

Emerald lost its spark.
Lakes without reflection.
Sun without its start.
Exists in stopped direction.

*

Any acrostics that appear in the left column of this poem are strictly intentional.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

1 posted 2002-06-27 10:02 AM

It's so subtle, no one's reading it.

God, silly, I love you.

"Sooner or later, they'll never grow up." -Jim Steinman (unreleased and almost completely unheard, but hey)

Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

2 posted 2002-06-28 01:58 AM

It's like you took a photograph, and painted it in letters. I love it.
I also like the way you "plugged" in Anvrill.

A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-06-28 02:40 AM

Thanks, Kris. As I was telling Lori earlier t'night, I actually wrote th' poem backwards stanza to stanza, so I could tie it up right while using each letter to make the message READ ANVRILL OR ELSE.

Yep, I put too much sweat into my work. Except, the embarrassing thing is it wasn't hard at all t' do!

I'll be lookin' forward t' more of yr poetry. And ah'm soooo glad my moderatin' days are almost behind me.

I'll still be a constant reader, tho.

Mike

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

deep_thought
Junior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 24

4 posted 2002-06-28 06:15 AM

Very stark imagery. Paints something in your head.

I didnt see the hidden message until I read the post, though.

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

5 posted 2002-06-28 02:15 PM

Getting awful fancy these days huh Mikey???

Loved your colorful imagery here...

~D

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-06-28 08:05 PM

Glad y' both enjoyed my strange idea.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

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