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Open Poetry #12
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-01-17 11:02 PM


OK, this is my first EVER attempt at a rhyming poem.  So, here goes--


Walking beside you along the shore;
Crashing near our feet, the waves of the ocean.
I can only imagine what is in store,
But your perfect love has sent me a notion.

You glanced down briefly and took my hand,
My heart instantly skipped a beat.
You have but one demand;
I am positive your need I will meet.

You lifted my face to yours
And gave me love's most passionate kiss.
I sensed the opening of a thousand doors
Through which I'll forever enter and reminisce.

You held me gently in your arms
As we watched a sailboat in the distance.
So wrapped up in your charms,
Your heart will be my only existence.

So, my dear love,
This heart forever belongs to you.
Your soul I will be a part of
Until the day my life is through.



I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

1 posted 2001-01-17 11:11 PM


A wonderful poem and i would never
know it was your first rhyming poem..
nicely done snowpants..

             ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2001-01-17 11:16 PM


SnowPants~
Delightfully done !
More ! More ! More !

You write well in many forms.
Nice to see the  s t r e t c h  ...
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2001-01-17 11:26 PM


This is truly beautiful...wonderful first attempt
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2001-01-17 11:50 PM


Victoria:  why thank you!  that means a lot to me!  

Marge:  well, I am definitely flattered by your kind words!  thank you so much!  

Paula:  thank you too!  I appreciate your reply!  

sp


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-01-17 11:52 PM


SP~ this is SO beautiful!! I think this is a perfect style for you...... -SEA
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2001-01-18 02:41 AM


You know.......I knew you could put one to paper that rhymes and you just did it in class and style with a beautifully romantic and tender creation.  I applaud you and now maybe it is not to soon to be thinking of what will rhyme with "Cardinals"
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2001-01-18 07:59 PM


SEA:  wow!  perfect??  thank you so much!  I really appreciate that!  

Mark:  well thank you kindly, my dear friend, for those extremely encouraging words!  wow, I didn't expect such great replies with this, but it's cool anyway!  and, ahem, I truly don't think I'm the one with the worries.  But, don't fret, there are LOTS of words that rhyme with Mets!  If you want a challenge, you can find one to rhyme with Ventura!  That's even better!  Well, your choice, m'friend.  

sp


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

SwEeTnSeXy18
Member
since 2000-09-18
Posts 247
nc
8 posted 2001-01-18 10:14 PM


kris,
this was as beautiful this time around
as when i first had the honor of being
able to read it. as marge said you my
friend write eloquently in many differnet
forms. keep up the great work and i of
course will continue on being a faithful
fan  

take care
~~~~~~
aim

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2001-01-19 07:12 PM


Awww, thanks, Aim!!  It is an honor to have you as a fan and a friend!  Thank you so much!!

-e ~~~~


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
10 posted 2001-01-19 07:15 PM


Snowpants--Wonderful writing.  Enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

"It is our business to go as we are impelled."
~ D.H. Lawrence

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
11 posted 2001-01-20 07:08 PM


Thanks, Poeminister!  I'm glad you could stop by!!  

sp


I won't go; I won't sleep; I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

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