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Open Poetry #10
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-10-19 02:48 AM


A cat in claw
upon the screen
tiger-eye
sees everything...
twisting twice
de-coder ring--
I hear the birds
BEFORE they sing.

(Tell me, tell me)
Tell me all...
do angels really
CHOOSE to fall?
Is everything
a chosen path?
Will I ever
not feel lack?
Is all that rhymes
a waste of time--
free verse
just
methodic curse?
(Tell me it
won't always hurt...)
Say I have a chance.

And in the ticking
of the clock--
confide--do you
also take stock?
Humanity
within a pen
Reality
of flesh made sin...
(I am.  I AM)
unraveling...
pulling thread
most willingly.
I stand outside myself.

I think...

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
1 posted 2000-10-19 02:59 AM


Serenity,

Imaginative and creative, a beautifully worded poem. "Is all that rhyme a waste of time". No, never, the meaning of words is timeless.
"I stand outside myself". What a remarkable phrase indicating the poet is ready to look in from the outside. Super.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-10-19 06:14 AM


S'en*
I fell into this one hard sweetie!!! The
whirlpool of this one swept up my emotions
and sent me spiraling!  You have such a gift
for this type of writing...it sings
SERENITY...Love ya my dear friend..((hugs))~


tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
3 posted 2000-10-19 06:19 AM


Serenity~
God what an amazing read, flows beautifully   great writing
~HUGS~
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-10-19 08:05 AM


Serenity~

'And in the ticking
of the clock--
confide--do you
also take stock ?'


EVERYDAY !  
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

5 posted 2000-10-19 09:50 AM


interesting, serenity ... there's a naked rawness to the tone (that i like much) ... nice work
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-10-19 03:37 PM


(Tell me, tell me)
Tell me all...
do angels really
CHOOSE to fall?
Is everything
a chosen path?
Will I ever
not feel lack?
Is all that rhymes
a waste of time--
free verse
just
methodic curse?
(Tell me it
won't always hurt...)
Say I have a chance.
===============
Humanity
within a pen
Reality
of flesh made sin...
(I am.  I AM)
unraveling...
pulling thread
most willingly.
I stand outside myself.

I think...
===============
you need only yo see your self thru our eyes...
or better yet...thru your own poetic eyes

NEVER doubt your poetry ...
and never doubt you ..
BOTH are a gift...
this one proves my point ...
your not coming unraveld.or undone ...
your becoming an exceptional poet
me

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
7 posted 2000-10-19 09:25 PM


at times i feel this way - but I get over it - something good happens - if not whatI want- but it keeps me going - {{{hugs}}}
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2000-10-19 09:27 PM


Serenity--You are unraveling and all the little twisty turns of the thread are so clear...this is great poetry, my friend!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-10-19 09:38 PM


I can't think of anyone I would like to unravel with more...this is pure serenity  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
10 posted 2000-10-19 09:39 PM


If you are unraveling my friend then it is only to shed the silken threads of beauty you are gifted with to share them among the friends that you have shown so much of your heart to.  Wonderfully expressed as usual......but then who would have thought less from one of the "TRUE SPIRITS" of today's poets.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2000-10-19 10:11 PM


I wanted to thank everyone individually---but wow...just know that you are all very dear to me...and I appreciate this SO much.

You all have rendered me speechless. *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*

Much love back atchya.

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